


Please Don't Leave

by SallyGardener



Series: Try [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Established Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Rape, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-02-24 15:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyGardener/pseuds/SallyGardener
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finally comes out to his Dad about dating Dave, but things take a twist for the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John: Run Away

You are now John Egbert and right now you are currently laying on the floor in your bathroom sobbing. Your Dad is currently yelling through the door at you. You ignore it, curl in on yourself even more, and wait. After a while the pounding ceased completely and the sound of angry grumbling and stomping feet stormed out the front door. A few more minutes pass and you jolt when your cell phone rings. You pull it out of your pocket with a shaky hand and try to read the numbers. They’re very blurry, but you can just make them out. It’s your boyfriend, Dave. You blink again, and answer. His cool voice is pumped with excitement when he hears you. 

“Hello?”

“Hey Egbert.”

“H-hey Dave.” Your voice cracks and you wince.

“So get this—Wait. Are you crying?”

The lump in your throat is making it nearly impossible to speak, “Y-yeah. What’s up?”

Dave’s earlier excitement turns to concern, “Hey, stop that.”

You almost smile at that because just hearing his voice is enough to make you feel the slightest bit safer. “Right.” Your voice is uneven. “I’ll just do that.”

“What’s up? Why are you crying?” The previous scene replays in your head over and over again and the tears rush back to you. You’re trying to keep them back, and it’s causing your breathing to become shorter, more ragged. Dave’s voice softens a bit. “John, tell me what happened.”

You take another small breath and start talking at the normal volume. Your voice cracks, but you’re finding that hard to care about. “I…I told dad about us. He just…completely freaked out on me.” You swallow again and the pain in your burning throat makes more tears fall down your face, “I n-never knew Dad was h-homophobic!”

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you at all?” You can’t answer that, the lump in your throat is preventing you from speaking. So you just sit there in a fetal position with your head buried in your legs like a damn coward. You hold back the raging sob building in your throat, but a small sound slips through. Dave’s voice becomes more firm. “John, what happened?”

You bite your bottom lip until the pain forces you to let go. With tears still steaming down your face you start. “I was just standing there telling him, and out of nowhere.” You take another small breath. “H-he grabbed m-my head and threw me to the ground before…” The memories flood back to you and you start getting lost in them again.

“Before what John?”

“Be-before beating me. Wildly. I-I never knew D-Dad could be so…so violent.” Dave stayed quiet for a few minutes. Only the silent for a few minutes, only the quiet hiss’s from his end let you know he’s still there. You can practically feel the anger radiating off Dave in thick waves. When he speaks again, you can tell he’s holding back.

“Is he there?” 

You pause, trying to hear for any footsteps, but your ears are ringing so badly the only thing you can hear is Dave. “N-no. I don’t think so.”

“Alright, look I’m going to come over right now okay?”

“No!” You wince and hold your throat. “S-stay on the phone with me! P-please Dave, I-I’m just really scared! I don’t want to be alone!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay on the phone with you and I’m leaving right now okay?”

“Are you driving?”

“No. Bro’s driving. I’ll be there in ten.”

You nod and he tells you to get your stuff all packed. You don’t want to move from your safe place because you’re not entirely sure you’re the only one in the house, but Dave’s voice calms you down enough for you to unlock your bathroom door step onto wooden floor beneath you, shivering at the coldness of it. You race down the hall and close your door before locking it as well and taking out your duffle bag. For the next several minutes you pack everything you can fit in there, clothes, spare glasses, toothbrush, your favorite movies and your rabbit Dave got you for your birthday. Dave announces he’s at your front door and you grab your bag and run to the front door, grab your shoes and swing the door open. Dave immediately wraps his arms around you and you give him a small hug back. You would love for nothing more than to be hugged, but right now your body‘s too sore and abused to be touched. He leads you quickly to the truck and Bro unlocks the back for you. You climb in and ask if you can stay for a few days, or weeks. He nods silently. 

A few minutes later you’re at Dave’s house, settling into the guest bedroom. It was pretty empty, not a lot of smuppets. You dump your bag the closet and collapse on the bed. Today’s actions overflow you again and you silently sob into the nearest pillow. You don’t know how long you stay there, your mouth open in a silent scream and your head pounding like it’s bellowing at you to stop. You snap your mouth shut and sniff when arms wrap around you. You breathe out and it’s still shaky. You don’t want to be touched. You don’t want to be around anyone or anything except this bed and pillow.

“You okay?” He murmurs into your back. You nod. “Look at me.” You shake your head. “It’s okay.” You sniff again and turn to face him. He caresses your face and you hug him, your face in his chest. He runs his hand through your hair and you cry into his shirt while he whispers sweet nothings to you until you fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	2. John: Live With The Striders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good with summaries, but Warning!! -There is a bit of rape in here-

 

You’re still John Egbert.

_You are currently being help down by your Dad as a searing pain courses through your body. You don’t think you’ve cried this much since you were five and got soap in your eyes when you were taking a bath. Your throat hurts from you screaming so much, or you would scream, but there’s a pressure there that’s preventing you from breathing too much. It loosens slightly and you gulp in as much air as you possibly can and let out a broken sob before it tightens again. You open your mouth to scream again at the pain and fear you’re feeling, but nothing’s coming out. Your eyes flicker to the object above you. It’s Dad. You’ve never seen him like this, he looks so mad and you don’t know what you did wrong. Then you feel another sharp wave of pain make its way up your spine and you clench your eyes, letting out another silent scream. Oh right, you remember now, you came out to him. He grabbed your head and banged it against the counter, then when you were too shocked to move he…he… He’s talking to you. You’re hearing is fading in and out and the pressure on your neck loosens enough for you to choke out another sob. He’s screaming at you, asking you something. You think you’re responding, something along the lines of “Please stop Dad!” All you know is it hurts and your lower half is stinging and you can’t do anything about it. You look up in his eyes. You think yours are pleading, full of sadness and the pain you’re feeling. His are full of pure rage and disgust. There’s no love in there._

You heave up, gasping. You’re drenched in sweat and tears. It’s been a few weeks and your Dad is constantly sending you phone messages telling you if came back, you could go on living like nothing happened. You both could put it in the past, and that you couldn’t ever see Dave again. Sitting up you wipe you face in the attempt of getting rid of the evidence. You look at the time before getting up and walking to your door frame. From what you can see the hall is all clear, and you step quietly to the bathroom and lock the door behind you. You turn on the shower and wait for the water to warm up. Stripping yourself of all your clothes you adjust the water and step in when it’s a little warmer than lukewarm. You can feel your muscles relax slightly in the warm water, and a silent sigh escapes from your mouth and you keep moving, trying not to get sucked back into your past. After you’re done you turn off the water, but don’t move for a good five minutes. If you stayed, they would notice, so you get out and start drying off and putting on your spare clothes, having put your old one’s in the hamper. The next stop is Dave’s room. The door is open now, so you just walk in and close it after you. He doesn’t respond, so you open your mouth, but nothing comes out so you close it again and go over to him. He doesn’t respond when you wave a hand in front of his face, so you gently shake his shoulder. You hear the catch in his breath as he tenses, trying not to jump.

“Hey man.” You lean back and plop on his bed, dropping to eyes to the floor when he tried to make them meet. You can’t make eye contact. He knows you’re not going to answer, and has no problem continuing to talk. “Do you want to play video games or something?” You shake your head; you’re not in the mood to humor him right now. “Alright, what do you want to do?” You don’t know, you shrug again. “John.” You look up at him and he sits next to you. “Dude, you haven’t said a fucking word in weeks. You okay?” You open your mouth, but nothing comes out again, so you close it nodding. He puts a hand on your face rubbing your cheek and you can’t make eye contact with him. Not when you feel like this, not after your dream. Not with this scarred body of yours. “John, look at me.” You can’t, so you start turning away, only stopping when he taps your check. “Please say something.” You give him a look that screams _'Why?'_ It’s only to distract him from the face that you’re gripping his bed sheets tightly. You can’t stand the fact that he’s touching your dirty face, even though you just took a shower. He’s still touching you, and asking if you’re okay. You nod quickly, but your grip tightens because not only is he touching you, but you’re lying to him now. “Does your throat hurt?” You take your other hand and rub your throat, only for the memory of your Dad’s belt wrapped around it to dance across your eyes. You open your mouth again and force yourself to say something. Anything at this point.

“Not really.” Your voice is quiet, but it’s like a volcanic eruption compared to the silence in the room. You continue so he wouldn’t ask, “I just haven’t cried like that in a long time.” You voice is scratchy, it feels like your throats still raw, but you shrug and play it off like it’s nothing. “So it almost took my voice away.” He continues rubbing his thumb over your cheek softly, and you can’t help but to relax at his touch.

“You okay?” You nod. “Will you tell me what the fuck happened?” You freeze. Every red blood cell in you stops moving, you going to get thrown back into your memories. You’re going to completely suffocate, and when you finally crack and tell Dave, he’ll leave you. He won’t want you anymore. Not you or your dirty body. His thumb isn’t moving now, but he starts talking again. “It’s okay.” His voice is so soft, so caring. You feel like crying because you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve someone like Dave. “You don’t have to.” You hate yourself, so much that you can’t even bring yourself to hate your Dad. The man who did this to you. You lean into Dave.

“Just punching and kicking.” One arm goes around your waist and the other hand combs gently through your hair; you think it’s still a bit damp. You both stay like this for a few hours until Bro calls you for dinner. Dave heads straight for the Chinese take out’s Bro carrying, and you head straight for your room to check your phone. You have one you new message.

DAD: John. I’m coming to get you tomorrow.

Your stomach drops. You’re not even sure if you’re breathing right. It feels like you’ve just been socked in the gut, and the face. Your name is John Egbert, and you don’t think you’ve ever been this terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm currently working on a third chapter. Sorry, but it'll be a while before it's posted.  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	3. John: Be Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just from Dad's POV, I"m not really all that good at looking through a homophobic lens, so I apologize if i get this all wrong.

You are now Dad.

You consider  yourself a very well tempered man. Not a lot upsets you. You'd always raised your son to be himself, that you'd always support him, but not like this. Him being gay after all these years. Him waiting to tell you all these years. Him lying to you for all these years.

You'd always known he was hiding something from you, but not this. Not this. You cannot accept this. You raised your son to be straight! You cannot- no, you don’t want to fathom why he'd even want another man's penis coming anywhere him and it makes your stomach twist with rage that the very thought. You’ve always thought of David  as a well mannered boy for the most part. he swears a great deal, which you personally dislike, but he made John come out of his shell a bit more, which outweighed his cussing. John took quite a liking to him, and you were glad he had a friend to talk to about school or assignments or something. You’d never guessed he was gay though. If you’d known, you would have forbidden him from talking to your son ever again. If only you’d known. Now you’re son is corrupt and going to hell and you can’t do anything about it accept try to purify him.

When he told you, you thought you could fix him. Save him, by showing him just how barbaric the whole thing was. A man “loving” another man was just illogical!

It’s wrong.

_It’s a sin._

 

When you were done trying to show him how corrupt he’d become he’d run away, or limped really, and you’d chased him. He still needed to be shown that he could be saved, he still needed to understand that you did it for his own good. He ran into the bathroom and locked the door on you though, and you were still enraged. You’d banged and banged on the door for what felt like ages to you, until you finally got the message that he wasn’t about to come out anytime soon. You punched the door one last time before stomping angrily to the kitchen and yanking the car keys off the counter. On your way out you’d glared one last time at the bathroom door and slammed the front door.

You went for a drive. You drove past the church you and John always went to on Sundays, you drove past the market, even though you need a new packet of brown sugar. You didn’t know where you were going, until you drove up to a cemetery.

You knew where you were now and sighed a bit before pulling the keys out of the ignition and getting out. It was a short walk to the destined tombstone. When you reach it you  sigh again and kneel in front of it, re-reading the words engraved on it.

 

_Elizabeth Egbert_

_1975-2003_

_~Her spirit will remain with those she loved~_

_R.I.P_

 

You just stare at the words for a minute before muttering “Oh Elizabeth. I don’t know what to do anymore. Our son is going to hell unless I can save him. You were always so much better at this parenting stuff than I was. I miss you so much.” You feel yourself tearing up a bit and sniff. “but don’t worry dear. I’m going to save our son. I’ll get him to a church as soon as I can and make this whole “gay” illusion thing disappear. I promise that.” You huff and stand up, smiling down at her grave a little. You feel more at peace with yourself, and head home. Of course, because you’re in a better mood, you stop and get that new bag of brown sugar before heading home.

“Johnathan. I’m home.” You announce but dead silence is all that answers you. “I have a surprise for you son, why don’t you come on out and help me with it?” You offer instead, but still don’t get a response. You’re becoming a little cross at this, but you drop off the sugar and head over to the bathroom, tapping the door gently. It opens right up, John’s not there. Well, that’s alright, maybe he’s in his room. You check, the door is close, so you crack it a bit before entering. “John?”

His room is a empty almost. His laptop, some pictures, clothes, shoes are gone. He’s gone. You’re son ran away, and you know exactly why. You’re more than cross now, and it’s not John you’re mad at. you’re mad at Dave. You’re beginning to hate the fact that he even exists, because he’s the one corrupting your son. He’s the impure one. It’s all his fault.

 

So for the next few weeks you constantly send John messages; warning him about how dangerous Dave is, and begging him to come back to you. It’s been four weeks and you’re at your ropes end. You send one final message.

_DAD: John. I’m coming to get you tomorrow._

 

Dad: ==> Be John Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a small chapter, but I'm just glad I was able to update this!!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	4. John: Reunite Lovingly With Your Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, I've been dying to write this one!!  
> So the title is pretty self explanatory and I'm just hoping from the previous chapter you guys will understand Dad more and what's going through his head when the dialogue comes into effect!  
> Also: TRIGGER WARNING!! (Although It's not as bad as I could've made it) THERE ARE SUICAL THOUGHTS IN HERE AND WILL BE FROM HERE ON OUT --until I stop or something.

 

  Your name is John Egbert.

  You are currently freaking the crap out in your room. You just received a text from your  Dad saying he’ll be coming to get you tomorrow. You’re not even sure if you standing anymore. Your mind is racing with about twenty thoughts per second, but the only one that computes is ‘Why?!’ You’re not really sure when, but somewhere in the midst of your breakdown you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders. There’s a dull ring in your ears, but you still need to sort out your thoughts. The ring slowly becomes more and more clear as your name and you blink. Slowly you remove your hands from the side of your head, wondering when they got there and look up at Dave. His lips are pressed together in a thin line and his eyebrows are scrunched under his shades.

  “Hey man, you okay?” You want to shake your head, and hug him, and cry until you really do lose your voice. You nod instead. He doesn’t look convinced so you lean into him slightly. He wraps his arms around you instantly and you try to relax yourself. “What happened?” He murmurs in your ear and your eyes look around for your phone. Conveniently it’s not too far away and you grab it limply. You unlock it and hold up the screen for Dave to read. His grip tightens significantly, even though you know it's suppose to be comfort you, it kind of hurts. You tell him that, more like whisper it in his ear hoarsely. He loosens his grip immediately and you lean back a little frowning when you see the corner of his eyes scrunched and his eyebrows furrowed. His frown is twitching downwards every ten seconds and from this closeness you can somewhat see how intense his eyes are, even though it's fairly dark in your room. You feel yourself about to break down yet again, but end up steeling your nerves and leaning back in, kissing Dave very lightly. He still responds pretty fast, kissing you back lightly before you stand up.

  After your little episode you offer your apologies to Bro and all three of you go eat Chinese on the futon, then comes a video game marathon. They don't act like it, but you can tell they let you win every other game, and it make you feel the slightest bit better. You all play until about 11:00 and Bro sends you off to bed. Dave and Bro begin bitching at each other for a minute before start giggling. They both turn their head and you cease at once, but retain your smile . Dave gives up within the next five minutes and both of you trudge to your respective rooms. You really don't  feel like sleeping though, or more you can't sleep. The text your Dad sent you is still flashing before your closed eyes. You're terrified of him, of the things he can do.

  You're happy here.

  You're _safe_ here.

  If you go back you have absolutely no idea what he might actually do. Your phone is still laying on the floor, and you get up again. Unlocking the screen the text blares in your face. Your hands are shaking as you take a deep breath, sit down and type out your response.

JOHN: when?

The response comes instantly.

DAD: 8:30. ARE YOU OKAY? HAVE THEY HURT YOU? ARE YOU READY TO COME HOME?

JOHN: no dad. i don't want to leave either, why are you forcing me to?

DAD: ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD JOHN. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND IN TIME.

  You don't answer. He still doesn't understand , and at this rate he never will. You crawl back into bed and turn off your phone as he tried to call you yet again. You stay like this; head in the pillows, shaking and biting back a sob until Bro goes to bed at 12:25. You wait not even ten minutes, when the snoring begins, before sneaking the seven inches to Dave's room. He's at least cleaned a path on the floor for you in your stay here. You quietly follow it until you reach his bed.

  "Dave? Are you still awake?" You whisper.

  "Yeah." His voice is a bit groggy, you're pretty sure you woke him up.

  "I can't sleep." There's a small pause before Dave scoots over and opens his covers for you. You gladly crawl into the warm space and snuggle up to Dave, who wraps his arms around your waist.

  "He won't take you, Bro and I will protect you." You just nod. "So don't worry. We'll win this war yet." You start to laugh, it jiggles your body, but dies in your throat. You wonder if you'll be able to laugh again at home. "John? You're getting quiet on me again."

  "I love you." It the simplest thing in the world to say.

  He kisses your forehead with a small content sigh, "I love you, too." You can feel yourself smile, a real smile, and start crashing in his arms, but that’s okay because within five minutes you both are asleep.

  The next morning is by far the roughest morning you’ve ever had. It all started when last night’s excitement has you waking up paranoid at five in the morning. The darkness taunts you, with it’s unruly blackness. Wow, that sounds so stupid. Whatever the case may be you sigh and roll over, letting Dave slightly tighten his arms around you and rest his chin on your hair. You will the sleep to come back to you, but everything you do only seems to wake you up even more, you even screw your eyes close only for them to involuntarily snap back open. Great, this is just what you needed today. The Striders and your Dad fighting over you and you having a headache from all the yelling plus the lack of sleep. The thought’s already making you peevish. Forty minutes pass on by while you’re trying to go back to sleep and before you know it, your bladder is full.

  You shuffle towards the bed’s end and Dave pulls you back again, “Dave I have to pee.” You whine quietly and he begrudgingly lets go. You don’t have to be quiet for them to know that you’re just going to the bathroom, what’s the worst that could happen; they hold a sword up to your throat and demand you hold it in and don’t get up until noon like they do? No! The bathroom is also a relaxing place to think while you take a piss. You’re pretty sure Dave’s gone back to sleep so that’ll by you a little while. The only thing is you don’t have a little while, you only have a little. How can you stay with Dave and Bro? There’s always calling the police and having him thrown in jail, but at the same time there’s no crime in a father being disappointed in his kid. It happens to everyone at least once. No, no you can’t do that, he’s still your father and you’re not sure if you could ever do something like throw him in jail. Even if you didn’t do it yourself you're pretty sure if Dad and Bro got into a heated argument about where you’re better off staying you’re secret is sure to come out somehow, sort of like you did, ha! If you ever write a joke book that’s going in there! Right, back to the topic at hand. IF your secret that your Dad raped you came out Bro or Dave would call the cops instantly, and that is the last thing you want. You’d really rather go back with your Dad than have Dave find out about what he did to you, but there’s got to be another option! If you hid and had Dave or Bro lie and say you weren’t there you Dad would probably call the cops on them and accuse them of kidnapping you, and if you ran away they would bicker and shit would hit the fan in a very similar way as the rest of those options. Well, you could always just kill yourself and get it out of the way- wait, whoa. Where in the hell did that come from?? Why on earth would you ever want to kill yourself? Answer: you wouldn’t! Duh, you have a full life ahead of you, with Dave, Bro, your close friends, and your Dad.

    At this very moment in time, however, you have come to your decision. You know what you have to do, and you are terrified of the outcomes. None the less you back to your room and look at the time to see it’s nearing seven. Hopy shit a lot of time passes in the bathroom. Nonetheless you grab your already open suitcase and begin folding your clothes. Your laptop and charger go in first naturally, then your shirts and jeans, shoes in the corners and spare glasses in the pocket in the front. Once everything was packed and cleaned you looked at the time. There was still twenty minutes to kill before it was eight. You sighed again and picked up the now full suitcase, walking out into the hallway without fear of waking anyone up. At this point they were just out, of course if he was too loud they’d wake up in a seriously crappy mood, but you just really want something to eat. You stomach was all kinds of queasy last night and to be completely honest you’d been so freaked out you weren’t even sure if you could keep down your dinner, but somehow you managed it. Maybe some toast with jam would help. You only make one slice, smearing on some butter and a thin coat of blueberry jam. After nibbling on that for a while, you look at the clock. It was five minutes to eight.

At that moment you took out a piece of paper and wrote a small note. That small note turned into a page worth. It was just thanking to the Striders, saying how much fun it was staying with them and apologizing for having to leave so suddenly. You said you was leaving of your own feel will so not to worry, and that you’d be just fine. If there was a problem you’d call them right away.

Your Dad was sure to be early, so you left it at that with a small smiley face and headed out. You had most of your laundry, and the rest of your belongings. You opened the door and just stood there for a moment. You were doing this. You were going to make this happen. You were going to go with your Dad and avoid confrontations with the two adults meeting, but your weren’t just about to lay down and let your Dad tell you who you were and weren’t. You’re going to take a stand for yourself and if that means arguing with him every damn day until he understands, then so be it. With that small burst of determination you step out and quietly close the door behind you, making your way downstairs to the parking lot just in time to see your Dad park the car.

All your previous bravado evaporated the instant he got out of the car and headed your way.

“Ready to leave son?” Even if you said no you’ve left anyways. So you nod instead and he wraps his arms around you in a hug. Any other time you would’ve hugged back, but now you stiffen up and tremble slightly. He pulls back after a minute, “Where do you want to go first; the church or home?” He asks and you can’t even believe what you’re hearing. It’s not Sunday, so why would you even bother going to church. Of course there’s nothing wrong with going on days other than Sunday, but still.

“Home.” You manage to make you voice normal, and it cracks halfway through the word. He give you an unreadable look, at though he’s looking for something. Finally he lets go completely with a small nod. As you walk to the car you can just feel it; your freedom and hopes becoming shriveled. You put your suitcase in the back and take a seat in the front.

Halfway through the ride home he decides to speak up again. “I’m glad you’re coming home Johnathan.” That’s all that was that was said, and it was something you didn’t even bother trying to respond to.

          Later that day.

  You’re standing in the kitchen looking for an apple or something to just munch on when your Dad come in. He clears his throat and you freeze for a second before reaching forwards, grabbing an orange and turning around, closing the fridge in the process.

 ****“Now, John, you know what you did wrong and why I did what I did, right?” You don’t, you really don’t, but you have a small idea, so you nod. “And you know you and that David boy will not be allowed to stay together in this household correct?” This makes you shake your head, a small glare settling on your face. “John-”  
   “No.” It’s your turn to talk. “No. Dave and I will be staying together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting to love Dave.” Now it’s your turn to watch your Dad’s face harden and watch his jaw lock itself, but you’re not done. “I’m not leaving Dave, and nobody is changing my mind. Not you, or God, or a priest, _nobody_ .” You look him straight in the eyes, and all you can see is coldness.

  This will be a long fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be taking a break with this story for a little while and focus on some other stuff, but don't worry, because I'm not abandoning this one!! I'll continue when I can find the motivation, but fear not, it will update sometime!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	5. John: Go to the Pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade invite John to go to her personal pool in her backyard, and who is John to deny??

The first week your Dad confiscated your phone, claiming you were using it for sin and unjust reasons. You learned from there not to text Dave anytime your father was around. Of course Dave had sent you a shit ton of messages, to the point where you just called him to say you were okay, and you'd just been grounded for running away. He probably didn't believe you though. If you were him, you probably wouldn't believe you either.

School is starting up in about two weeks. You're really just a little excited. One reason is because you get to see Dave again, and talk to him! On the other hand though, you know you’re not allow to go over to his house and vise versa.

 

A few days after you'd gotten your phone back your Dad took away your computer privileges as actual punishment for running away. You'll admit that that was at least reasonable. Of course right after that thought you almost put your head through the nearest wall. His man had _raped_ you. He raped you and was probably about to beat you! You had every right to run!

 

Every morning is the same. He wakes up and asks what you want for breakfast, sometimes he wakes up up having already made something you like. He's always nice, but there's something in his eyes. Something that looks small and frail. When the two of you start talking, you respond a lot easier now than your first week back. Of course when your Dad brings up relationships again, requesting to know if you were interested in any girls at your school. Like before you told him about Dave. Each and every time he asks, you tell him you have a boyfriend. He keeps pushing, but you stay stubborn and keep denying everything on account of your current relationship status and every single time your Dad’s eyes harden and he turns into a stranger. Sometimes he’ll yell, other times he’ll ignore you, but every time you always get at least one punch or slap. It’s never on your face or anywhere there was a chance of your skin being exposed.

 

A week before school starts Jade invites you over to go swimming. You tell your Dad and he asks who else was going. You say you didn’t know and he sighs heavily. Over the past few weeks you’ve learned to guard your eyes, but you let them stay normal this time. Your eyes tell him how hopeful and excited you are to go swimming. He thinks it over got an hour before saying you can go, but only if he could go as well. You cheer and hurriedly text Jade. She matches your excitement and you quickly change into your swimming suit. Your Dad drives you over to her house. You run up to the house, your Dad following at a slower pace. When he reaches up to knock, you just push open the door. This is your friends house, and she’s expecting you after all! You look back to see your Dad stunned at the door. He glances around inside before actually going inside. You don't really care and keep going in, giving her a small hug when you see her. She hugs you back and escorts you outside after you say hi to her grandpa. Jade leads you out to the pool where Rose is already sunbathing. She sit up and grins when you walk out with your goggles and towel.

"Hey Rose!" You practically shout at her and she chuckles and wait for you to come closer.

"Hello, John." It had been awhile since you talked to her.

"I didn't know you'd be here!"

She raised an eyebrow and looked past you at Jade, "I wasn't aware you would be here either," She grinned, "But it's a nice surprise." Your Dad has been pretty merciful this past week, not hitting you as much, and now you're thanking him to a whole new level. You quickly strip, your body has bruises, but they're so old they're barely even visible anymore. You hum gladly and take off your glasses before running and cannonballing into the deep end. Jade follows quickly, jumping in with all the grace of a mongoose, which is,of course, meant in the best of ways! The two of you swim around playing Marco Polo and talking about her garden.

 

It’s not even twenty minutes later that someone else steps out. You don’t really glance over to see who it is, but Jade does, and her face _lights up_. You think it might be her g’pa, as she calls him, or someone.

Nope. **  
** ****

“Sup?” The voice is nonchalant, but stops you so quick you start sinking. You twirl and starts speed swimming as Jade laughs loudly. You momentarily forget you have a Dad and haul yourself out of the pool, running towards Dave despite Jade’s warning.

 

“Dave!” You shout in his ear as you trap him in a bear hug.

 

His initial reaction is to push you away, but the most he does is tense for just a second before wrapping his arms tightly around you as well. “Shit Egbert, you’re cold.”

 

You just giggle and hold him close for a minute. “I know.” You mutter and he pulls back with a snort.

 

“You jerk!” He playfully punch your shoulder and you start laughing before grabbing his hand and heading over to the pool. Jade’s disappeared, but a quick glance around shows she’s just talking to Rose.

 

They both wave, and you nudge Dave towards the pool. “Ready to swim?” You ask. He just looks at you through his shades, “You should probably take those off.”

 

He shakes his head, “Your Dad already hates me enough. I don’t think him seeing my ‘devil eyes’ will help in any way.” At the mention of your Dad you crane your head around to look through the kitchen window. He’s not looking, but must sense your gaze because after a minute he turns to face you. He face hardens before he starts talking to Rose’s mom instead. The hardened look disappears faster than it appeared. You take in a breath and try acting normal, but you couldn’t fool any of your close friends to save your life. They start talking to you and distract you from your home life. You let it happen. You talk to Jade about her garden more and her dog, and how excited she is for school. You talk to Rose about her latest books she’s read, and her knitting, and her girlfriend. You didn’t even know she’d had one, but she sounds very sophisticated and perfect for Rose. You never really caught her name, but she says you’ll meet her at school. Lastly, you talk to Dave about your life for the past few weeks. You talk about the computer privileges, and how your Dad takes you to church every second that he can, and how he keeps pressuring you to dump him and get a girlfriend. Dave tells you how messed up that is, and about his latest ‘sick beats’. He talks about his latest strife and how Bro totally kicked his ass then shoved Cal in his face for an extra effect.

 

After you all spend five hours of swimming and talking the adults tell you to come in, you have a change of clothes, and so does everyone else, but you all choose to watch a movie instead of changing. Dave chooses High School Musical for ironic reason, Jade chooses The Equalizer, Rose chooses The grudge. You really don’t care what you watch, and after ten minutes of debating you all settle on Silent Hill. It’s a movie you all have seen before, so when Jade puts in the movie and announces she’s taking a shower, you all start doing impressions. It triggers a chain event of one person coming and another person leaving to shower. You go last out of consideration to your friends, and because you seriously love dubbing over this movie!

 

When you get into the shower you find there’s almost no hot water left, but it doesn’t bother you too much, you scrub your scalp clean and wash all the chlorine off your skin in about five minutes before shutting off the water and grabbing your towel. It doesn’t take you long to rub your body dry and tousle your hair to it’s normal craziness with the sopping mass of fabric in your hands. You grin at your reflection and get dressed before merrily walking back to Jade’s bedroom. They greet you and you all finish watching the movie. **  
**

 

You all agree that you can never take the movie seriously and put the Equalizer in, settling on Jade’s bed to watch it. Not even thirty minutes later Jade’s asleep. Rose follows quickly, and you lean further against Dave. He throws an arm around you, and you can feel yourself starting to nodding off. This all feels so comfortable and warm, being surround by your friends.

 

“Egbert.” His voice is quiet, but it’s also next to your ear.

 

You open your eyes, when did you close them? “Hm?”

 

“Your arms bro.”

 

You glance down where there are blotches slightly darker than your skin tone scattered all over your legs and arms. “Yeah I know, I'm losing muscle mass.”

 

“You never had any muscles to begin with.” You grin and start chuckling, “You know what I’m talking about.”

 

“Dave it’s fine.”

 

“If those are what I think they are, then no, they are not fine John.”

 

“Dave, I’m fine.” You pause before sighing and shifting you  take off your glasses. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, and don’t worry.”

 

“John, if your Dad is beating you-”

 

“How is this any different from your strifes with Mr. Strider?” He pauses, maybe to gather his thoughts, “Yes. My Dad is beating me, taking me to church every second he can, and practically cutting my life off from the outside world, but don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.” He sighs, “I promise if it becomes too much I will tell you.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I swear on my sexuality.” He snorts quietly and you silently chuckle. “I love you, Dave.”

 

“I love you too, you big dork.” He shifts to the side and takes off his shades, tucking them safely between you both. You do the same, lean in a bit and kiss his nose. He tries smirking, but it turns into a small smile as he leans forward and eskimo kisses the fuck out of your nose before giving you a small peck on the lips. He brings you a little closer and both lay down in the warm circle of your friends. You hum a bit settling into the nest of warmth, falling asleep as soon as your eyes close

 

\--A few hours later--

 

 

It’s a few hours later you’re lightly shaken awake. The first thing you see is Dave's face. Someone clearing their throat makes your eyes lazily slide over to the source of the noise. You see Mr. Strider, nodding sleepily at him before your heart stops cold.  
"Johnathan. It's time to go." Dave lightly rubs his finger on your arm. You hadn't even realized you tensed. You nod at your Dad, and look around. Rose and Jade are still asleep. Carefully, so very carefully, you crawl away from their warmth and so does Dave.

 

"We're leaving too, Egbert." Dave's voice is quiet, but you can't just leave. So you shake Jade's ankle lightly.

 

Her eyes open just barely, "I gotta go." You murmur to her, and she gives you a tired smile. You give her the best smile you can and she falls right back asleep.

 

You reach for Rose, but Dave shakes his head, "Leave her. She likes her sleep." You nod and all four of you walk out of the room. ****

“Come on then, John.” Your Dad’s voice is tight and slightly irritated. You fumble with you glasses when you remember they’re on the collar of your shirt. Now that you can actually see, your one valid argument to stay a little longer with Dave dies in your throat. You were going to say you still need all your supplies and such. No you don’t because your Dad has your bag under his arm. You sigh and nod, tensing a little less when Dave grabs your hand and walks with you.

 

“Now, son.” You can practically feel the venom he ejects towards you with that last word.

 

“I know. I’m coming.” You don’t snap back, you don’t even put much effort into the word. You’re so tired of this. He walks ahead of you, both parents do. They’re gone by the time you get to the door. You Dad is already starting the car, and Bro is opening the door to his truck. Dave pulls you close, and turns you so you face him.

 

“Give me a kiss.” He says it lightly.

 

“Dave I’ll get in so much trouble.” **  
**

 

“Miss me?”

 

“Fine.” You sigh and grin a  bit before leaning forward and gently kissing him. “I love you so much Dave.”

 

He grins and pulls you into him more, “Love you more.” You smile and let go. Your Dad is glaring as you walk away from Dave and towards the vehicle. It’s okay. You’ll see him in a week. Everything before then will be fine.

 

You are so wrong.

 

\--Two hours later--

 

 

You have no idea how you  managed it, but you made it upstairs and to your room. No good. You can hear him thundering up the stairs. He talking, but his voice is steadily rising. Shit. You grab your phone and crawl across the hallway. As you close the door to the bathroom you see the top of his head. You lock the door. There’s a few minutes of silence before the door to your room slams opens and you hear a frustrated yell. Then you hear your Dad’s footsteps making their way to where you are and a fist pound on the door. He’s yelling at you again. You jump every time he hits the door. You’re a sobbing mess curled up on your side on the floor. You got away this time. He got your shirt off and your belt buckle undone, but you screamed loudly and kicked him in the chin. He reared back and you slipped away, tumbling up the stairs and to safety. You open up your phone and look at the time.

 

“DO YOU HEAR ME JONATHAN?!” Your Dad is screaming at you.

 

“Go away!!” You scream back, curling even tighter. “Please go away!”

 

He goes away after another thirty minutes of him banging on your door. You text Dave. You must’ve said something wrong because he didn’t even text back, he just called.

 

“You okay?”

 

You sniff and let out a tiny sob before answering, “I’m okay.” You’re so not okay. You’re broken. You’re scared, _you should be dead._

 

“You don’t sound okay. Should I come over?”

 

“N-no. Dad’s here, you’ll get in trouble and he’ll throw you out.”

 

“What’d he do?”

 

You take a deep breath, “H-he told me how disappointed he was  that I didn’t dump you, then got really mad when I said it was my choice to date you and I was happy dating you.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Then when we got home he...hit me a-again.”

 

“Anything broken?”

 

“My spirit.”

 

“What’s that suppose to mean, did something happen?”

 

“N-no! Well yes, just the standard beating of the day I guess.” You sigh.

 

“You’re gonna be fine, John. I promise.” You’re not okay, you’re not fine in the slightest. You’re going to stay here and rot and _goddamn it why aren’t you just dead yet?_

 

“Dave I’m scared.” Your voice wavers dangerously as you push yourself upright and curl into a tight ball again.

 

“I’ll be there soon.”

 

“No. No, I don’t want you here!”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“But-”

 

“Trust me.”

 

Your Dad is calling you for dinner.

 

“Has the sun set?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I gotta go. Dad wants me to eat.”

 

“You’re gonna be okay.”

 

You sniff again and rub your eyes. “I know.” I deep, shaky breath in. “Okay.”

 

“I’ll be right here.”

 

“Okay.”

 

You hang up and go to your room, pulling on a shirt.

 

“John I said dinner’s ready.”

 

“I heard you. I’m coming.” You call back and leave to go downstairs.

 

 

The food tasted bland.Your Dad doesn’t look at you and you end up staring at the table the whole time. You really don’t eat a lot and end up nibbling on you food for thirty minutes before dumping everything in a trash can. You excuse yourself early, telling your Dad you have an upset stomach and denying his offer to take any medicine. You tell him you just need to sleep it off. He nods and continues eating. You retreat back up to the safety of your room and close the door. You almost crumple right then and there. God you’re so scared right now. A quiet tapping draws your attention to your window. You blink and hold back a noise of surprise as Dave waves at you. You walk slowly and crawl on your bed, unlocking your window and opening it about three quarters for him. He crawls in and immediately hugs you. You let out a quiet sob and hug him back as the feelings overwhelm you again. Your sobbing progressively gets louder as Dave rubs your back and murmurs encouragements to you. He tells you you’re doing good and that he’s here now. He apologizes for not being able to be there when the beating happened. You just sit and sob and at some point run out of tears. You must look like a mess, but Dave doesn’t seem to care. He kisses your forehead and gets out of bed to turn off the lights.  He settles in again once it’s dark and you cling to him. He kisses your cheek and you start drifting off. You’re gone within ten minutes, but when you wake up you’re alone and you window is closed.

 

You wake up feeling cold and empty.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter, sorry about the break!!  
> Anyways, sorry if it's not what you were expecting, but I'm pretty happy with it so...Yeah.  
> Enjoy!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	6. The School Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an average day at school, and John has a tiny little breakdown.

You’ve been in school know for a month and it’s still nothing like you expected. Sometimes people yell things in the halls about you being ‘queer’ or a ‘fag’. Especially when you’re with Dave, but you don’t mind. At least, not as much as him. He still treats you like you’re a delicate flower, bending so much you’ll break at anytime. You’re not, and to be honest, it’s starting to bug you, the way he hesitantly takes your hand or kisses you at school. He’s been like this every since the first time you broke down in his arms. Ever since your father tried to rape you for the second time. You still haven’t told him about it, but he doesn’t really seem to ever think anything about it. He doesn’t connect the dots, and you don’t know whether you’re grateful for that or frustrated by it. A few weeks ago he’d tried to advance the relationship to the next level. It wasn’t forced or anything! To be honest, you thought you’d gotten over the whole ‘dad’ thing, even though the marks on your sides grow each day.The night you reacted horribly to the advances was the night you began to cut your sides. Low enough that no one would notice if you took off your shirt, but high enough to be hidden by your boxers or swim trunks.

Days like these make you want to run the blade on your side -or throat- even more. The shoves on the staircase, and the lunches being knocked out of your hands, plus the name calling. It’s hard not to cry when you’re the first in gym and think you’re alone. Then when you take off your shirt a group walks by and starts making fun of your bruises, saying even your Dad hates you, either your Dad or Dave, maybe both. You, of course, ignore them and refuse to cry. There’s no way in hell you’d ever let these guys see you cry. It’s when you’re halfway through gym when a particular comment breaks you. You don’t say anything, just turn and calmly walk out of the gym towards the locker. There’s no way you’d let them see you like this. 

You’re long gone by the time that class ends and your next one starts. Not that you were planning on going. Sure Dave was in it, but that only made you want to ditch it that much more. There comes a point in time where a person can’t hold back their tears because the pain is too much to bare, even if they aren’t alone. This is the time and place for a total breakdown, but that’s not what you’re going to do. All you’re going to do out here is let a few tears slip and calm down. You thought it would only take about ten minutes, but you were once again wrong. Everytime you think of going in late and seeing Dave your eyes get watery and you have to stop again and calm down. 

It actually took the whole period before you felt stable enough. Of course, lunch was starting, and the courtyard was filling up with people. You don’t want to see anybody and you don’t want anybody to see you like this. Not that is actually matters because Dave is sitting next to you about five minutes after lunch starts. He has two lunch trays; one with your favorite stuff, one with his. You’ll need to pay him back. 

The silence is only brief. “You wanna talk about it?” He asks softly while nudging you with your food.

You turn and take it with a sigh. “Not really. It’s stupid.”

“It’s never stupid if you skip a class.” He has a point.

“Just some dumb jocks saying you and my Dad hate me.” He sighs and takes a drink of his apple juice. “They saw my bruises.” You cast a side glance towards him and see him tense uncomfortably. “They saw them and said you hate me and beat me because I’m gay. They said you were just using me, and that I’m just a whore and better off dead.” 

Dave’s arm in instantly around your shoulder. “Do you believe any of that?”

“What?”

“I asked if you think they're right about anything they said.”

There’s no hesitation on your part. You know how you feel, and say, “No!” full of confidence. “No! There’s no way I’d ever believe them! Not about you. You’d never use me let alone beat me.” 

He pulls you a bit closer and lightly kisses your cheek. “That’s right. You’re not a whore, I love you and would never use you, and I’d sooner die than hurt you and your adorkable body.” 

You blush furiously, “Dave!” He’s laughing though, and you smile at it. You haven’t heard that laugh much lately, and you still love it so much. He puts down his juice and picks up his cardboard tasting pizza, taking a huge bite. You don’t make a jab at it this time, instead picking up your salad and picking around it for a bit before taking a bite. He doesn’t jab at your salad either and you’re pretty thankful for this time. you lean on his shoulder as you eat, and he leans into you a bit so you’re not doing all the work yourself. You’re not really going to say it out loud, but you’re more than thankful for Dave being in your life. He’s made dealing with this stuff a bit easier for you by just being there. Almost everyday he sneaks into your room after dinner. The two of you do homework on good days and he snuggles you on the bad ones. Still, people walk by and ruin your happy aroa by throwing derogatory terms at you and then hurrying away. It hurts you and makes you feel weak because Dave doesn’t even blink at eye at the insults.

You wish you had that kind of confidence.

 

Lunch ends all too soon and you and Dave go your separate ways. The name calling is more than usual today and so are the pushes and shoves. You actually sit through your next class, drawing, and endure all the paper balls and slang thrown at you along with being called the teacher's pet when she tells them to knock it off. 

You wish you were stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow, holy crap, I'm so sorry to all of the peeps that have continued to read this!! Sorry for the delay and such, I'm just seriously swarmed and swimming on Homework and school and it sucks. So, I dropped, literally everything for like, an hour and just wrote for you all!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	7. Dave Comes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave decides to go home with John and stay for a sleepover!

Today was a bad day. You get home with a bruised face and neck along with some nicely cracked glasses. Dave is right behind you instead of going home, he came with you. 

You’ve had enough shit today.

The instant you walk in and kick off your shoes your Dad’s voice comes from the kitchen, “Son? Is that you?”

“Yes, Dad.” You call back grumpily heading towards the stairs with Dave right behind you, and you almost make it until your Dad comes out to the living room. Your Dad looks worried about you for just a second before lasering in on Dave with a hatred you’ve never seen before.

“Johnathan, what happened to your face?” You know your Dad wants you to say Dave did it.

“I fell down the stairs.” Your voice is clipped and irritated, your Dad has yet to look away from Dave.

“How did it happen?”

“I got shoved from behind.”

“By whom?”

“Vriska.” 

Your Dad finally looks away from Dave. “Come to the kitchen, son.”

You nod and turn to Dave, “Go to my room, I’ll be there in a minute.” He nods and goes on ahead while you head for the kitchen

\-------

 

In the kitchen he gives you an ice pack, “What is David doing here?”

You shrug, “We were assigned to do a drawing assignment together.

“What’s the assignment?”

“Modeling.”

You see your Dad strain not to just start swinging. “I forbid it.” He says through clenched teeth. 

“I’m going through with it.” You make your voice and eyes blank. He swings and connects with your sixth rib. You wince and start coughing.

“I said no.”

“I heard you. I said yes.” You start for the door. You know your Dad won’t chase you, and now Dave’s here to protect you. He says nothing when you enter the room, still rubbing your side, but he does open his arms. You shake you head and he drops them, opting to pull out his art book instead.

“What pose should we do first?”

You let down your walls again, and sigh as you sit on your floor and pull out your own sketch book, “Well, for starters lets just draw each other drawing each other.” He nods and you both start.

About ten minutes later your door creaks open, you don’t bother turning around, “What Dad?” 

His throat clears before he speaks, “Nothing, I was just checking on you two.”

“Exciting huh?” You snap back sarcastically.

“Hey Me. E.” Dave greets for the first time.

“David.” Your Dad’s annoyed voice drifts over your head. “How long will you be staying?”

“Well, I told Bro I’d be spending the night because I haven’t been able to really hang out with John lately. So, until like, two?”

You nod, “Two sounds good.”

Your Dad interjects, “John never asked me to have a guest sleeping over, and we were suppose to go to church tomorrow morning. 

“You guys can still go, if you don’t mind me tagging along.”

You look back to see how taken aback your Dad is by the statement. He just stands there for a minute before looking back at your blank face, “Dinner will be ready in about an hour or so.” You nod and he leaves.

The next thirty minutes are broken up by your Dad coming up every ten minutes and checking to see if you and Dave are doing anything intimate, which, of course, you’re not. After the thirty minutes are over you compare drawings, you’re both about equally matched in drawing abilities, so the drawings look extremely similar. You go about sitting close next to each other pointing out the mistakes and things that need to be fixed or improved on. He sets down the book and answers the phone as Bro calls him while you turn the page and start practicing your shading skills.

Dave chuckles and says a few words before hanging up and sitting back next to you. 

“Did Bro get kick out of Wingstop, again?”

He shakes his head, “He was calling to see if I got my ass thrown out yet and if I needed a ride to the nearest bar.” 

You hum and nod, “I could use a drink too.” Dave’s smirk shrinks a bit as he slings an arm around your shoulders. It’s slow and hesitant. “You don’t have to keep second guessing yourself. If I don’t want to be touched I’ll tell you, okay?” You almost snap at him, but hold yourself back, sighing and leaning against him muttering an apology.

Dave just rubs your arm, “It’s cool, I’ll stop being such a sloth when touching you.” You giggle in spite of yourself and continue skeptic as he shuffles through his phone to get some music playing.

Three minutes later your Dad is pushing the door open and glaring at the position the two of you are in, which hasn’t changed except that he was watching you draw.

“Dinner’s ready.” 

Neither one gives a response right away, you don’t even get moving until Dave stand and stretches, “Sweet, I’m starving.” He looks at you and you stand as well, still not wanting to talk. They both seem okay with that as you head down for dinner.

Before any of you start, you say grace. To be honest, you don’t really see the point in it, like doing it on holidays s understandable, but not like everyday. Anyways, dinner has a little flavor in it this time, Dave comments that it tastes ‘hella good.’ And your Dad glares at him for a minute before returning to his food. You mentally thank Dave for attempting to break the tension in the room. It’s so thick it’s like you can’t even breath sometimes. Eventually it ends and you go back upstairs with Dave again. Instead of focusing on homework like you normally do, you and Dave go straight to playing video games with the tv you just recently earned back. You play for hours, laughing, lightly shoving each other, and raising your voice to a shout for the first time in months.

By the time you check the time, it’s past midnight, so you both agree to shut off the games and such. You change, him not questioning or staring at your battered body. 

As you start falling asleep curled up around Dave until you jolt awake at the realization that you’re going to church with your boyfriend. Your fucking boyfriend, and your church doesn’t commend gay people.

Dave feels you tense and starts rubbing your back, “It’ll be okay.” You don’t buy it, but after a little while, you can't keep your eyes open anymore, and fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I dropped everything!! Then I got on a role writing this stuff you peeps and for me!! Hahaha!! So, have two chapters as an apology from me for taking so freaking long to write them!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	8. John goes to church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave go to church, I've never been to church and I've got no idea how they actually work, but I think I'd be something like this. Get ready for the next chapter, Spoiler: It's going to be dramatic!

 

  The next morning you keep restlessly pacing around. Dave didn’t have fancy clothes, so you let him borrow some of your nicer shirts and slacks, though they’ll be a little small on him. He shrugs it off and kisses your cheek sweetly before you hear your Dad coming up the stairs.  
   “I’m going to take a shower really quick.” Dave mutters, obviously not wanting to deal with your Dad at the moment. You nod and he detaches from you, going across the hallway and into the bathroom about five seconds before your Dad opens the door to find you with your shirt off and rummaging through your drawers for a good, clean shirt.  
   “Has David left yet?” Your Dad already knows the answer. You know he’s already seen the pair of shoes still by the door.  
   “He likes being called Dave and no he hasn’t. He’s taking a shower.” The shirt you’ll be wearing is a nice white button up one. It’s a tad big on you, but you wanted it that so you could fill it out. Either way, your Dad very clearly is not pleased he’s still there.  
   “Johnathon.”  
   “Dad.”  
   “You know very well that you can’t take David to church.”  
   “It’s Dave, and he’s set on coming with.”  
   “Well he can’t.” He hisses at you. You just glare defiantly at him. It’s enough to raise his arm and prepare to land a blow. You, on the other hand, stand your ground and steel yourself, even though you know it won’t soften the blow at all.  
   “Ahem.” Your Dad stops dead in his track and you both look over to see Dave standing in the doorway half dressed, eyebrow raised.  
   You know you Dad won’t dare to hit you in front of anyone, so the most he does is look back at you. “We’ll finish this later.” You simply nod and he stalks past Dave and downstairs.  
   Dave enters, closing the door. “Bro, you okay?”  
   You nod with a sigh. “That was amazing timing.”  
   He takes his shades off and wipes his eyes at the sudden change of light before going over to you and caressing your cheek. You can see the sincerity in his eyes, along with anger, concern, happiness, and surprise. “Are you sure? He didn’t hit you? Nothing happened?”  
   You giggle and kiss him sweetly, “Yes, yes. Nothing happened. You save me in time, my knight in shining armor.”  
   “And red eyes.” He adds in kissing your forehead before pulling away and going for the shirt you’re letting him borrow.  
   “Uh, Dave?”  
   “Hm?”  
   “To wear your shades during a service is really rude, and I can understand if you don’t want to go.”  
   “It’s sounds like you don't want me there. Or at least your Dad did.”  
   You gasp a little, “You heard?”  
   “No, I just said that because I’m deaf, of course I heard. Your Dad as a loud ass voice.”  
   “Yeah, it’s just, my church doesn’t condone gay people.”  
   “They condone you.”  
   “My Dad made some bullshit up about me not wanting to go to hell and wanting to be saved. I wasn’t there, I was in the car, but that’s why I can still go to church.”  
   Dave scoffed, “Wow. Whatever.”  
   You sigh again, “I’m sorry. If I-”  
   “I’m not mad at you Egderp. You can calm your shit. I’m pissed at your Dad. Here. I’ll make this simple enough. If you want me to go home instead of church, just tell me.”  
   “What, no! No, I don’t want to be left alone with him! I mean, yes, I want you to join us to church. Sorry, I’m just so nervous.”  
   Dave opens his arms, “Chill, everything will be fine.” You gladly take him up on the opportunity for a hug.  
   “Why are you so sure?”  
   “Well, because no matter what, we’ll still be together. Right?”  
   You pause before giggling, “Yeah.”  
   Dave’s smirking now, nudging you slightly, “What’s so funny?”  
   “What you just said. It was so cheesy!”  
   The both of you end up laughing and swaying in each others embrace for a few minutes before your Dad calls you both downstairs, has you get on your shoes, and gets you in the car. You have to sit in the front, since according to your Dad, it’s safer for the both of you. That’s such bullshit, but you don’t argue, since it would only delay the inevitable. You just do as you’re told, and so does Dave.

  Except, your Dad doesn’t drive to the church. He drives to Dave’s apartment and puts the car in neutral.  
   “Uh, Dad? We’ll to be late if we don’t get going.”  
   “I know, I was just dropping Dave off. Like we discussed.”  
   “I was never informed. I left all my clothes back at your house.”  
   “John will bring them over to you on Monday.”  
   “Mr. Egbert, I’m not leaving. I’m going to church with you and John.”  
   “Why are you so eager to go to church. I thought you were an Atheist.”  
   “Because I haven’t been able to spend any time with my boyfriend.”  
     Your Dad sneers and just starts driving, holy shit he’s going really fast. “Dad?” He doesn’t answer just jerks you all into the parking lot. You scramble out gladly when he pulls the keys out of the ignition. Dave follows in suit and grabs your hand as you start heading up to the front doors. You’re more than scared, but you don’t let go, you don’t even shake him off. You don’t because you don’t want to, and because he’s your boyfriend and he’s only trying to make you feel better. The halls are empty except for a few people who stare at you two. You do your best to ignore it, even though you know you can’t. Dave tightens his grip and squeezes you a little. It helps, just a little.

 

  As the three of you enter your Dad finds a most empty aisle towards the front and starts walk up there. You start shaking with anxiety. You’re terrified. What if you get thrown out? What if no church even lets you back in?! You can feel all the eyes that are one you and Dave. He tried to let go, but you hold fast, and after a minute he grabs yours again. When you turn into the aisle, you notice the chorus and priest are eyeing you. Internally you start panicking, but on the outside simply walk in and sit down. The songs will come in soon enough.  
   Once seated, Dave squeezes your hand twice, in a comforting way, and you scoot closer to him in return. You love him. To the point where you’re willing to hold his hand and stay with him through a hate community. He knows you love him, and he’s willing to stick with you every step of the way. Even though you love him so much, there’s no way you could ever tell Dave what he sometimes tries to do to you. Dave would want to go to the police immediately and if your Dad is put in jail you’ll be shipped off to England to your cousins, since you have no family here. No. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell anyone. Out of nowhere you’re tugged out of your thoughts and you look up and around to see everyone standing and singing. Whoops! You grin sheepishly and shoot up, grabbing a song pamphlet for Dave since you don’t need it. Dave looks at you through his shades, you know he hates singing. That’s okay though!  
   “You don’t have to sing since you don’t know any of these songs.” You whisper and start singing with the crowd. Dave nods and starts looking over the words, as if he’s memorizing them, or just staring into space.After awhile of singing, you all sit and the service continues. Dave nudges you and scoots over slightly, which shows you how much space you have. You gladly take the invitation to distance yourself from you Dad. The service lasted a grueling three hours. Not the that they were grueling to you. You’re used to it, but Dave’s definitely not.

  An hour into the service he’s already figeting to get on his phone. He makes a move to grab it after half an hour, and you nudge him so that he sees you disapprovingly shaking your head. He sighs and sinks into the bench. You assume just zones out after awhile, which is okay with you. You know this kind of event isn’t his scene. You’re okay with that. After the service you look look over to see him drooling a little. It is the cutest freaking thing ever. You shake him awake and the second you touch his shoulder he snaps away, quickly looking around and almost slashing at you, accept he doesn’t have his sword. You dodge the swing by ducking and give him a second to wake up.  
   “James and John Egbert. Could I talk to you?” The head priest asks as he stops in the aisle. Your Dad nods and he steps into the row to make room for everyone else. You wait until the room in nearly completely empty before you all get out.  
   “Johnathan. Who is this you’ve brought with you.”  
   “This is my boyfriend, Dave.”  
   Dave stuck out his hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”  
   The priest simply looked at him before turning back to your Dad. “James, this is unacceptable.”  
   Dave cut in, dropping his hand and arm and grabbing your hand again. “It was only for one session. I won’t be back, your holiness.” He finishes sarcastically.  
   You gasp at the sarcasm in his voice, “Dave!” Even your Dad looks at him in surprise.  
   Dave just looks at you, “What?” You sigh and turn back to the priest.  
   “I’m so sorry, but he’s telling the truth. He was curious about this church is all.”  
   The priest nods. “John, you’ve been a member of this community since you were a baby, so I will make an acception for you, but for your friend, he is banished from this church.”  
   You nod again, I understand, thank you.” Dave scoffs and turns to leave, dragging you along with him. Your Dad stays behind to talk to the priest in private.

   Outside in the open room just before the praying room you and Dave are bombarded with stares again. Some people yell; ‘Faggots!’ or ‘You’ll go to hell!’ or even more clever, ‘Go rot in hell you queers!’ It hurts you, and Dave knows it does, so he brings you close, tucking you under his arm as you both continues out and to the parking lot. You’re thankful he’s there, at the same time you also wish he wasn’t there. He’s making things worse. Of course, you’d never tell him that, and he actually wants to spend time with you. It’s about ten now, you’ve got four more precious hours with Dave. You exit the parking lot, having to avoid more than one car and slur. You don’t go very far, only to the nearest restaurant. It would be so stupid to go in, so you wait on the curb for your Dad’s impending call.

  After a little while Dave speaks up, “Sorry.” It’s a pretty quiet mutter, but it’s there all the same. You don’t really answer, you’re a little busy figuring out what he’s apologizing for. He looks over at you and clarifies. “For the church scene. I probably just made things a lot for you, right?” Oh.  
   You start giggling, he’s just been worried, he looks a bit on edge at your burst of laughter. “It’s okay. Really.” You lean on his shoulder, and he hesitates slightly before wrapping an arm around you. It’s warm and you nuzzle into the embrace.  
   Maybe five minutes later your Dad calls, requesting your location. You regrettably tell him and he drives over to you and stops next to you, not looking over or anything. You sit in the front and Dave sits in the back, without another word he drives off. He stops at Dave’s house.  
   “Mr. Egbert my time’s not up-” Dave is obviously confused and you can see how on edge he is.  
   “ _Out_. David I want you out of me car _right now!_ ” You Dad yells out him. You jump and press into your chair.  
   Dave starts arguing and you quickly turn around and shake your head. “I’m so sorry, but I think you should go Dave.” You whisper a gentle “I’ll be fine.” It’s a lie, you know it is, but it seems you do the trick. After a minute Dave climbs out. “I’ll bring your clothes to you tomorrow.” The words are barely out of your mouth before your Dad takes off. Dave steps away so he’s not hit, and you watch him watch you go.

You wish he was here with you.

You wish he was here with you because you don’t know what your Dad is going to do to you. It’s not your Dad you’re scared of, it’s the things he can do to you that frighten you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	9. John: Run Away. Again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the aftermath of what happened, I'll get to what actually happened that afternoon, but I'm not sure when.

You wake up with a start. It’s the next morning, and you’re sleeping on the bathroom floor. School. School is a thing, a thing that you are so completely late for! You’re late! You try to get up, but the instant you move you groan and look around. When did you go to the bathroom again? With much effort you somehow manage to sit up and look down at your battered body. Of course now that you can feel your head, it feels unnaturally heavy and foggy behind a huge headache that’s coming on. Looking down at your body, blue and black all over with bruises you have one singular article of clothing on. It’s your underwear.

_What even happened yesterday?_

Instead of trying to recall you force yourself to your feet. Your hips protest strongly, threatening to buckle below you. In the mirror you take a look at your face, almost wishing you hadn’t. Usually your Dad was careful about your face, but here you are; one black eye, deep bruises covering your left cheek and the area between your eye and cheek on your right. Shit, no wonder you’ve got such a horrid headache. You make a breathy noise of anger  before your hand goes to your throat and a puzzled look crosses your face. The fuck? Why does your throat feel like it’s raw and swollen closed. You attempt to talk, feeling rather surprised that your voice comes out. It’s scratchy and a little painful, but it still comes out. You puff out a sigh and slowly, painfully make your way across the hallway to your room.Your clothes are up here, why does that surprise you so much? Well whatever. You dig around in your pants pocket until you find your phone. It’s pretty low on battery, so you plug it in and check the time. Only you don’t really get the chance as Dave calls you. You answer bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“John??”

“That’s me.” Your voice breaks and you clear your throat before wincing. “What’s up?”

“The fuck you mean ‘what’s up?’ Dude why aren’t you at school?”

“I…” Why aren’t you at school? Why were you in the bathroom again, what the hell is going on with today? “I don’t know?”

The a small pause. “John, are you okay?”

“I think so? I can’t really move.” It’s the honest truth, you’re so damn bruised it’s head to do much more than breath. “I fell asleep in the bathroom and missed my alarm for school.”

“I’m coming over, right now.”

“What-no!” You pull the phone away from your ear and cough before bringing it back, “Dave you’re in the middle of school, you can’t just leave!”

“I’m coming over.” He insisted.

You sigh in defeat. “Yeah. Okay.” He tells you he’ll be over in a bit and you mutter a goodbye before he hangs up. In the little time you have you pull on a shirt and pants before going through what else in on your bed. A bible? Is it yours, no, you have one but it’s already in your bookshelf. Fucking, Dad. You sigh and place it off to the side and keep looking. Dave clothes are still here at least.The clothes you had on yesterday are there too, you pick them up and examine if they’re too wrinkled to re-wear again maybe tomorrow. Oh joy there are holes in them. Wait. Those don’t look like holes, they’re too ragged to be holes.  Upon further examination you find they’re ripped. Your nice clothes are fucking ripped. You sigh in frustration and throw them to the side of your room as the doorbell rings. Dave. There’s a brief struggle before you get to your feet as he bangs on the door. “I’m getting there, calm your crap Dave.” You yell, not that it comes out that loud. Whatever you’re still moving as fast as you freaking can, which is a snail's pace. You pause at the stairs. Those fucking stairs. With a sigh and extreme pain you begin your descent down the godforsaken things. You’re about halfway down when the back door open and Dave rushes in looking around frantically before calling your name.   
    You raise an eyebrow and take another step down, “Dave, I need you to calm down. You’ll kill your cool kid facade.”

Dave whips around and runs to the base of the stairs, just staring at you. God what a sight you must be; your face bruised to hell and desperately clinging to the stair rail so you don’t fall. He comes up instead. You don’t get much of a chance to react before he’s hoisting your body over his bony shoulder, causing you to cry out shapely. He apologizes immediately, but continues downstairs and to the couch where he sets you down as gently as he can.

“John what the fuck happened to you?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Can you try?” He moves your head to get a better look at your face.

“Not with this headache of mine.” Then you feel his hand ghosting up your shirt and it feels so wrong you could swear something inside of you bent and started stirring up memories as you shove him away with all your might and yelling at him not to touch you.

Then everything is dark and painful. It’s hard to breath.

Dave’s hands are ghosting on your shoulders, his voice distance as he tries to get you to somehow ‘come back.’ You don’t understand, because you never left. He’s still calling for you so you try to find a source of light.

“Open your eyes, John, you gotta look at me.” Oh. You didn’t know you were closing your eyes in the first place. You do as he requests and open them.

His shades are off and his eyes are filled with concern and confusion. “John, baby,” He reaches for your hands and you don’t hesitate to put yours in them, “You gotta tell me what’s going on. What happened?”

You shake your head, “I don’t now. I don’t know, I don’t know!” The volume of your voice starts getting out of control, are you crying? No, you don’t think so, but you can feel your eyes stinging with the effort to keep in the tears.

“I’m taking you back with me okay? You’re going to stay with me for a few weeks, months even. That sound good?” You nod, sniffing and going to wipe your eyes. “Can I assess the damage?” Another nod and he’s lifting your shirt again. You don't know why you freaked out and reacted like that, and frankly, it bothers you. You blow out a sigh as Dave starts gently poking and prodding at your bruises. This isn't the first time he's done it, and if you keep living here, it certainly won't be the last.

You whine and hiss at all the pokings, but don't start wailing in pain, which means nothing's broken, you think. Dave instructs you to still as he goes up and grabs some stuff. You nod and tell him to make sure to get long sleeve shirts and phone charger. A few minutes later you hear the garage door opening, but just barely. Fuck it scares you. You yell at Dave to hurry up, right as he's coming downstairs.

"What? Why?"

"Dad's here. Now." That's all it takes for him to sling the duffle back over his shoulder, grab your backpack and shoes, and pick you up before making a mad dash for the back door, Both the front and back doors open simultaneously.

"John? A yellow truck is sitting outside. Is that Strider boy here?" You don't answer as Dave very quietly closes the door and locks it before sprinting out to his truck and setting you down as  as possible and literally ripping off your bags and throwing them in the back. You take that time to force yourself to freaking move and buckle yourself in as Dave gets in and straps in himself.

The front door opens again. "JONATHAN ELIZABETH EGBERT!"

Dave jams the keys in the ignition and pulls the car away in a hurry as your Dad starts running at the car. The whole ordeal nearly gives you a goddamn heart attack and you slump in your seat and let out a breath of relief. Dave starts chuckling, and you look over.

"Fuck yeah, take that you old man." You grin at him. "You doing okay there John?"

"Yeah." You pause, because you actually feel great. "Yeah."

"Good, cause you'll be living with us for awhile."

"I like the sound of that."

"Damn right you do. No one can resist the Strider charm." You snort at him. "What was that?" He leans an ear towards you.

"You're such a dork."

"Wow. So rude." You giggle and he continues driving at full speed to his apartment with Bro. Once there and actually parked he grabs all your stuff and you again and takes the "metal death trap" or elevator up, knowing he can't carry you upstair and you can't even carry you upstairs. Once on the destined floor dave kicks his front door until Bro answers it.

"I'm going to need every vegetable bag we've got stat." Is really all Dave says, but Bro doesn't budge. "Bro? I need to get in." After a minute of still nothing you whimper slightly and wiggle. Dave sets you down immediately, offering his apologies and the elevator dings.

Out steps your Dad. "John." He's seething, and you clinging to Dave, can you breath? You don't know, _you're too busy freaking the shit out_ to comprehend anything.  Dave has one arm around you for protection, even though you know it's useless. Bro is suddenly right there. He grabs your Dad by the collar and slams him against the stone wall.

"What did you do?" He growls out and you feel Dave shiver.

"Shit." He mutter and picks you up again. You whine in protest, but he refuses to acknowledge it. He carries you to the guest room and set you down on the bed. "Stay here, I'm going to go get Bro before he kills someone."

Dave is just out the bedroom door when you hear Bro bellow, _"What did you do?!"_

Dave starts running again.

What have you done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry. I know I said there would be drama, but I lied. There wasn't nearly as much drama as I was oringally going to imput, but rest assured, there will be drama some time int he next few chapters.  
> This time, I promise!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	10. John... Be Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not very long, I'm sorry for that...

You are Bro Fuckin’ Strider. Of course, you’re so cool you don’t need an introduction, but you did it for the irony. Now then, you’re sitting at your desk working on your robotics when you hear little sniffles of increasing volume starting to sound across the hall. Damn these walls are thin. Those little sounds belong to Egbert though, because you now you raised Dave to believe that Striders don’t cry. Striders are ugly criers.

Hearing John crying reminds you of yesterday, when you almost sent his dad over the edge of the railing. Bastard deserved it. You’ve seen this kid when he watches horror movies (adorable as fuck, he gets so scared) but he was just downright terrified when his dad started coming towards him.

When you saw Dave carrying John yesterday, you just froze. John was a nice boy. He had an amazing sense of humor and a pranksters habit that got a little out of hand sometimes, but that was okay before it was funny as shit to watch him prank Dave. The kid has so much love to share with everyone he meets, honestly it shocks you, but yesterday. Yesterday that wasn’t him. What you saw was a bloody, bruised kid with broken eyes. Kid probably didn’t even notice them. You don’t know what the fuck happened, but you know that even though you’ve beaten Dave ass countless times and left him bruised and battered, he’s never reacted like this. It’s not like you beat within an inch of his life, it’s just how strifes go. He’s never complained about it. John though. He was acting like a neglected dog meeting his former owner. He was in so much pain and so completely scared of the man coming towards them, and you just snapped.

Now it doesn’t happen often, you snapping, and honestly it’s probably a good thing Dave grabbed you and somehow forcefully removed you from Dadbert. He latched onto the arm you had raised, it’d already hit his cheek once, but damn. If it was legal you would’ve sent him over the railing for hurting John like that. Even thinking about it now makes your blood boil. What the fuck even happened between them?

 

You’re now Dadbert.

 

The situation was okay. You were able to control your anger up until you got out of church. John shouldn’t have been punished, he wasn’t the one being ridiculously rude. You weren’t going to get very mad and hurt him too bad when you got home. You really weren’t.

But that’s not how things went. You commented on David’s behavior and John apologized, which you were rather pleased about. Then he started justifying it, and you got a little pissed off again. You’d told him to dump Dave, because of his personality and how rude he is. It’s going to influence John in the worst way you’re sure, and he’s gay. It makes everything a lot harder to deal with, especially in your case. John almost got kicked out of church, and he's defending the person you caused it! You'd grit your teeth and told him not to talk. Dave didn't deserve being defended. Still he insisted on rambling on about it. You'd snapped and yelled at him to stop talking and get a girlfriend. Everything would be so much easier if he did. But no. He'd yelled back and said you were a terrible father.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

That was the one thing that could've broken you. He went on to say Elizabeth, his own mother, would've and accepted him. He'd said he wished she was still here so you stopped forcing all these "stupid" expectations on him. 

That broke you. 

Then you broke him.

 

You're now John.

The next day, day #2 you finally remembered what had happened.

It happened when Dave told you you smelled all sweaty. That broke something in your subconscious, all the memories came back. Dad's fists, his feet, his voice screaming at you to shut up because what did you know? He hurt you. In ways you didn't know he could. At least last time he'd pulled out. You stopped breathing, or at least that's how you remember it. Dave said you were hyperventilating. You curled into a ball and started sobbing, loudly, and Dave held you close. You didn't push him away, but you couldn't stop crying. It hurt to cry. It hurt to breath, think, live. Everything hurt. Dave held you through three hours of your ultimate breakdown, and demanded answers after that.

You refused to talk, and you haven't broken your resolve yet.

-_-_-_-___---____--__-_

It's been two whole weeks since your breakdown. Dave asks you everyday and everynight to tell him, but you just shake your head. You can't tell him, and more importantly, you don't want to. College is around the corner. If you live on campus, maybe you can just forget your Dad even exists. Even then, Dave's questions probably won't stop. They're actually starting to wear you down. You started crying again the last few times he's asked, and he's apologized an ample amount of times, but if he's really sorry he wouldn't ask! Right? It's a Sunday, which means Dave is cramming to get his homework done at the last minute while you hang out with Dave's brother on the couch. He's watching My Little Pony, while you sit there, zoning out really. You've never cared for this show, and you're definitely not going to start caring now. 

"Who's your favorite?" You jump and look over at him, a little shocked that he spoke to you. He pointed to the screen and the show, "Who's your favorite?" 

"Oh, uh..." 

He smirked a little, "Applejack." 

This is getting confusing. "Is that yours?" You venture carefully. 

He snorts, "Fuck no. Rainbow Dash is my favorite. She's the most badass. I’m just assuming you’d like AppleJack the most. You seem like an AppleJack kind of guy." 

“I do?” 

He smirks slightly and nods. You’re more than confused until Dave pops his head out of his room. “Quit flirting with my boyfriend Bro. John, I’m all done if you want to hang out still.” 

"We missed our movie time Dave, there’s really nothing else we could’ve done.” Dave just raises an eyebrow and gives you that shit eating grin. “Dave no, I swear to god don’t you dare sa-” 

“Bro?” You stop and look over at the elder to see him smirk. Oh no. “We’re gonna go see the shittiest movie they have.” Dave disappears, giving you enough time to groan in dismay before he appears behind you and pulls you up. “Let’s go my little Egderp. This is gonna be awesome.” 

It’s so not awesome.

You bitch heavily at Dave so how horribly the movie “Epic Movie” just sucked. Normally you’d be all for these parody movies, but they dissed your favorites. Seriously, who does that?! Dave laughs at your dismay, and deep inside you really are happy. Everything just feels natural. It’s midnight when you get out of the theater and are almost home. Apparently Dave was using his head and doesn’t bring up your Dad or bear down on you as to why you broke down. It’s nice. 

Or so you thought.

You are so tired, not that it matters. Bro didn’t mind you sleeping in Dave’s room for once, usually he’s so adult-like, but tonight it was different. You’re already changed and settling down in bed when Dave turns off the lights and crawls in next to you,wrapping you up in his arms. You remove your glasses,and he takes them before settling back down.

“John.” 

“Hm?” You’re so tired. 

“Will you tell me what happened?”

You sigh, “Dave-” 

“Please.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Why?” 

"I just can’t.” 

"Don’t you trust me?” 

“Well yes, but-” 

“Then tell me. I can’t react any worse than Bro.” 

“Yes you can.” You whisper. 

“Please tell me."

“Can’t.” 

"Why not?” 

“Because I’m too scared.” 

It’s his turn to pause. Then he sighs and kisses your forehead. “It’ll be okay.” You’re shaking, trying not to cry as you relive your memories.

“Dave-” 

"I promise you’ll be okay.” 

“I-I got raped.” 

 

Then everything just stops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IS FINALLY OVER!!! HAHAHAA!  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	11. John: Survive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is long and weird and shit and stuff. So Dave freaks the fuck out and John just lives paranoid and stuff!

Fifteen seconds, give or take a few milliseconds, that’s all it takes for Dave to process everything. You hold your breath for roughly fifteen seconds. Those fifteen seconds were the calm before the storm.

You hadn’t realized how completely stiff you were until Dave started to freak out and you had to move. His mouth was open, shouting, or maybe screaming, at you for an explanation, and you hastily try covering his mouth, which is pretty difficult with him flailing around like he is. 

“Dave, calm down! Dave, please calm down!” You desperately whisper. After a few minutes he stops flailing and just looks at you, very slowly you remove your hand. “Have you calmed down?” Your voice is a soft whisper. 

“Calmed down??” Dave’s voice is booming loud and you quickly make an attempt to quiet it. “Why the fucking fuck would I-mffph!”

“Dave, shhh! There’s a reason I didn’t want to tell you! We can't tell Bro, you can’t tell anyone!”

“John, this is a serious offence, we have to tell Bro.” You know he’s right, but shake your head anyways. “If you don’t then I-”

“You’ll what? This isn’t your secret to be spreading.” Your voice went cold, eyes glaring dangerously at him. It shut him up, now he’s just looking at you like you’re the bad guy.

“What the fuck, who’s side are you on?!”

“I don’t want anyone to know! My Dad could, no,  would go to jail Dave!”

“Where he belongs.”

“No he doesn’t!”

“He hurt you!”

“Mr. Strider hurts you all the time!” That was such a cheap shot, you want to punch yourself. It just slipped out. 

Dave just stares at you for a minute, “Not like yours.”

You sigh and slump back. “I know. I’m sorry. Look, I’ll tell him when I’m ready, okay? Not a minute before then.” You stand, “I’ll go sleep in my own bed.”

“I don’t want you to.” You turn back.

“What?”

“I want you so stay here. I’m not mad at you.”

“Are you sure?”

“For which part?”

“Both.”

“Yeah. Now come on.” He climbs back up into bed and you follow him after a minute. 

**  
**  


It’s been two hours, and neither one of you have fallen asleep. Bro himself, went to bed thirty minutes ago, and he’s sleeping soundly.

“Dave, you awake?”

“Yeah.”

“You should get some sleep.”

“So should you.”

You pause, he’s facing your way, but won’t touch or cuddle you. “I can’t sleep without your cuddles.”

He pauses. “You sure?”

“Pretty damn.”

Two more minute pass before he’s slowly wrapping his arms around you. “Just relax.”

“There’s no fucking way I can relax.”

“I said, relax.” You’re becoming peevish. “If I didn’t want you touching me, I would’ve slept in my own bed.”

He’s pretty quiet for a minute or two before you head a small, “Right.”

Well shit, know you feel bad for snapping at him. “Look, I know it’s a lot to process, but really I’m fine. College is right around the corner and then I can forget about this whole mess.”

“You have to tell someone though.”

“I already did. I told you.”

“John, you know what I mean.”

“Dave, please, let’s not talk about this and actually try to get some sleep.”

There’s another long pause before Dave sighs. “Alright. Fine.”

“Hey brats.” You both jump (well you do,Dave doesn’t do anything but tense) “Go the fuck to sleep.” Bro growls and you both nod. Then he’s gone. Damn, he’s in a horrible mood when he’s woken up.

_-___-_-_--__---

 

The next morning you and Dave are getting ready to leave and Bro’s on the computer checking on his stocks for the smuppet sales. Really the smuppets are okay, just Cal creeps you the fuck out, so at least Bro makes an effort not to leave him anywhere that’s not on his shoulder.

“How about now?” Dave asks between bites and you sigh.

“No. Not ready.”

Bro can probably hear you, but so long as he doesn’t question it you’ll be fine. 

After that close call you very quickly finish your breakfast and the rest of your morning routine in record and announce that you're leaving early, to which you get what you can only describe as a dying whale noise as Dave tells you to wait for him. 

You do. You’re a good boyfriend. You deserve a boyfriend of the year award, not that you’ll be getting on anytime soon. Dave’s out before you now it, grabbing your hand and tugging you towards the stairs. This is the first day you’ll be back at school in a week. Everyone, including you, thought it would be for the best for you to wait until your face at least cleared up.

People don't really pay you any mind on the bus, you can understand that. For them to pay attention to you, they’d first need to notice you exist. Not that you mind them not knowing. You’ve got Dave after all. Speaking of Dave, you’re leaning against him right now, and receiving some not so pleased looks from various people. Dave nuzzles against you slightly and you sigh happily and sink down into him more. Some girl makes a gagging noise, and someone else attempts to spit on you, but he sucks at spitting apparently, since gravity doesn’t allow it to touch you. Lucky you.

 

The second you let go of Dave to go to your first hour class, though, your luck runs out. Kinda. Well, pretty much. It’s foul insults and spit balls all period, the teacher calling you up to discuss why you were absent. You just say you had some family drama and it seems to do the trick, you only have like, a week of extra homework on top of your old homework, which you can handle. Dave would throw a bitch fit. 

Speaking of Dave, you really wish he was here. You’re in the locker room, guys poking and prodding you despite you telling them not to touch you. If Dave was here, he’d be defending you know, since despite your muscles, you’re still not  all that strong. Sure, you can pick up Dave, but that’s the most you’ve ever been able to do. You finish getting dressed, the other guys calling you a fag and pulling at your shirt or hitting you upside the head. They’re crowding around you, and you feel trapped. You get on the beach and quickly evade them. Nope. You’re definitely not going to stick around to see what could’ve happened there. Gym in and of itself is an experience you could’ve done without. All the guys keep touching you. Your back, your sides, you in general, and you really, really don’t like it. 

 

As soon as the bell rings you’re sprinting to the locker room and ripping off your clothes before yanking on your regular ones. You squeeze out the door as the other file in, one giving you a slap to your ass to which you’re speed walking away as fast as possible. 

In drawing you Dave gives you a side glance as you start sketching the wooden model in front of you. “Dude.”

“Hm.”

“You look sick.”

You do? “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re as pale as I am.”

“I’m not sure that’s possible.” Earliers events run over in your head.

“John.” Oh shit, he’s using your first name. You pause.

“Uh, yes?” You have to tread carefully.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re being all intense right now.” You see him visibly stiffen, so you quickly lean over and peck his cheek. “Calm down. I’m fine.”

He sighs. “Are you ever going to trust me?”

That...hurt a little. “That’s not it!”

“Then what is it?”

“I just don’t want you going around starting fights left and right.” That makes him pause. You know that’s how he would react if you told him. He knows you know.  He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off. “I’m probably just being paranoid anyways. I mean seriously, what else could it be?”

“You not being paranoid and some seriously wrong shit it going down?”

That thought doesn’t settle good with you. “Was that suppose to make me feel better or worse?”

He sighs. “I don’t fucking know anymore.”

Great. You’ve pissed him off. You sigh yourself and turn back to your art. Neither of you speak for the rest of the period. 

Lunch flies by, though you wish it didn’t. You spend it leaning on Dave and eating quietly. He’s just a s quiet as you, occasionally kissing your cheek when you start to get worried he’s mad at you. You walk him to his next class, it’s right next to yours, and give him a small cheek kiss as a goodbye before you go to your own class. 

Of course the slurs don’t stop, but you’re starting to get used to them, but just just cause you’re getting used to hearing them, doesn’t mean they hurt any less. You have a feeling they’ll always hurt. No matter what.

___-_----____-_-__---___--_

The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough. By the time school's out you’re in a sour mood. You’re more than tired of being called a faggot or something to that variation. Dave gently grips your hand and you squeeze him back as another insult is thrown your way. Bro’s offered to give you guys a lift, when your phone buzzes. 

All you see is that you have a new message from Dad. 

You don’t even open it. Pocketing the device you see a familiar old, slightly rusting orange truck. Dave groans and you grin  as the window rolls down and Bro pops his head out.

At least he waits until you two are relatively close before talking. “Hey lil’ bro, need a ride?” Dave’s about to decline when you cut in.

“Yes! We do, actually.”

He nods and unlocks the truck. Dave just looks after you as you clamor in,  before he climbs in himself.

“You guys hungry?”

You look at Dave, you were feeling a bit peckish. “A little, yeah.” Dave nods and Bro raises an eyebrow in the mirror and you look around, some people are staring at the truck. Part of you wonders if they can see you. Thankfully Bro starts driving and getting the hell out of there, so you don’t dwell on that thought for very long.

During the ride you reach out, and grasp Dave hand. You squeeze it, silently asking for him to squeeze you back, and he does after a minute. He seems a little distracted, you’ll ask him about it later since right now Bro is asking you where you want to eat.

You look at Dave, but his eyes are out the window. “Dairy Queen?” You ask him, squeezing his hand a bit. He gives you the smallest bob of his head and you repeat the answer to Bro. He nods at you and continues on the road.

**__-__-_-_-___-_---_  
**

You don’t talk all that much, for once, you’re as silent as them while you take small bites of ice cream. From your peripheral you keep seeing dave glancing at you. 

He nudges you. “Quit spacing. Something happen?” You look at him before Bro speaks up.

“How was school today, John?”

They’re tag teaming you. “I just, got a text from my Dad.”

Both Striders tense, Dave more noticeably than Bro. “What did it say?”

“I don’t know, actually. I didn’t look at it.” You pull out your phone and open the message.

One new message:

DAD: John, please come home. We need to talk.

“He wants me to come home se he can talk.” Bro holds out his hand, a silent ask for your phone and you give it to him.

He analyzes the message. “Want me to answer him? Block him?” You shake your head, it’s really okay, a part of you feels a little hopeful. He wants to talk. “Want us to get you a better phone because, damn, this phone is shitty.”

“Hey! I’ve had it for three years!”

“And technology had upgraded in the past three years Egbert, you live with us, you get a better phone.” Dave speaks up, and you playfully punch his shoulder.

The mood get lighter and lighter, until pretty much all the negative feelings from earlier are gone.

At Dairy Queen you get a normal hotdog and a medium sunday, with water, since you kind of need it what with you tearing your sides to shreds almost everyday. Your hips ache dully, reminding you that since you’re actually feeling better you should probably stop your ministrations before the striders notice. Dave and Bro get chilidogs, since hotdogs just aren't enough, and large twisted cones. The ice cream here is always halfway to melting, so at least you got yours in a bowl. They realize what a terrible mistake they’ve made and do a mad dash to finish their chilidogs before trying to stuff their icecreams into their faces. You snicker at the sight as you finish off your hotdog and move on to your sunday.

“What do you want to do Egbert?” Dave starts the conversation

“About what?”

“Your Dad.”

“If I said I would like the opportunity to talk to him would you let me?”

“Yeah man, sure.”

“Alone.”

“Uh, fuck no.” Bro answers this time.

“He’s my Dad!”

“And I respect that Egbert, but the fact stands that I don’t trust him and neither do you, do you?”

He’s got you. “...No.” You hate to admit is, but you don't trust your Dad. “But how about an open place? Like the mall or maybe starbucks?”

Bro thinks it over, “Only if one of us is with you.”

“Bro that’s not necessary! He won’t yell or anything else if it’s a public place, he doesn’t like causing scenes.”

“John, I don’t trust him.”

“I could always scream if anything goes wrong!”

Bro leans his hands on his forehead and breaths deeply for a minute. “Alright. Fine. You can meet him tomorrow, but only if he comes over to talk at our house. I’ll be in my room, Dave’ll be in his.”

You’re ready to reject that shit, but you don’t. Instead you take a minute to discuss the pros and cons. On one hand Bro and Dave could overhear something extremely personal! Something Dave actually already knows since you tell Dave  everything. If Bro hears about it he might actually kill your Dad. Big Con, actually double con. 

However, if your Dad tries to get physical you have two amazing body guards, plus they will kick him out and he can’t force you to go home with him! Okay so, three pros, two major cons. Uh.

“Deal.” No, wait, fuck. You said it without thinking completely through! Fuck! Well, it’ll probably be okay so long as you steer the conversation away from certain topics.

Without giving yourself a chance to back out you unlock your phone and tell your Dad you’ll meet him tomorrow at the Strides house at four in the evening.

**  
**   He says he’ll be there.  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, SO sorry it took me so freaking long to get this god forbidden chapter out!!  
> But I thank you all for sticking with me for this long!  
> Also Side note: The locker room scene will only be brought up one more time, but more all this stuff that's going on in there is in John's head. Just so it makes more sense.  
> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	12. Dad comes for a visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad comes for a visit, it's in the chapter title, what else would it be about??

Tomorrow’s not that much better.

    People touching you in gym, names in the hallway, the pushing and shoving. It’s not as bad as yesterday.

    Just because it’s not as bad doesn’t mean it hurts any less. Lately you’ve been hanging on Dave every second you can, and by lately you mean since yesterday since you decided to stop cutting.  So far he’s let you, though you can tell at times he’s getting a little annoyed. You would be too if your kind of withdrawn boyfriend was suddenly laying on you like a bed all the damn time. He hasn’t said anything, but you’re already planning on backing off a little. You make it through the day with a sigh here and there and a small groan from time to time.

Dave has made sure not to touch you at all today, but you make him break the rule by holding your hand on the way back to his house. The closer you get to the destined area, the tighter you grip his hand. He sighs a little, knowing what day it is for you today. You really don’t want to cling to Dave like this, but he’s your safe zone at the moment so, you kind of have little choice. When you arrive at the house you’re still squeezing Dave’s hand tightly. He comes inside and tugs you straight to your room, ignoring Bro when he calls you both to sit down.

Inside the room Dave turns and cups your face in both hands. “John, calm down. breath.”

You hadn’t realized your breath was coming out in ragged puffs, but you close your eyes and try to take a deep breath anyways. It doesn’t work the first couple times. When you finally manage to do that you’re close to crying, you’re so fucking scared and tired of this shit. You’re tired of lying and being in pain. You’re tired of not being able to talk to you dad and see him happy again. You’ve got fifteen minutes.

“John.” Dave’s talking quietly know, softly. You blink at him and he continues. “Listen, you don’t have to do this.”

You take a deep breath, “No.” Your voice is wavering again but it’s not too bad, “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’ll be okay.”

He rubs his thumbs over your cheeks gently, “It’s not okay, I’m serious though, I'll be right here. Just say my name, I won’t let him hurt you.”

You nod, placing your hands on top of his.

“Hey brats. Get your asses in here.” Bro’s voice drifts in, not very happy and you take a deep breath before going to the living room with Dave, hands placed in each other’s grasp. He’s sitting on the table and nods at the couch where the two of you sit down. “Alright John. This is your last chance, do you want to back out of this?”

You squeeze Dave hand confidently. “No.”

You see Bro nod, with what looks like approval on his mouth. “Dave’ll be in his room doing homework, and I’ll be working on a project so we don’t drive ourselves crazy while you talk. If you need us, you call us.”

Dave chimes in, “If you think he’s going to get violent, you call us.”

They’re really worried about you, and you smile a little and nod. “I will.”

He gives you a long look, “I mean it kid. No going anywhere with him.”

You salute, “Yes sir.” By the small tilt of his head you can gouge that he just rolled his eyes at you.

“Alright, come on Dave. His Dad’s sure to be early.”

Dave looks at you and you lean over and give him a small kiss, which he chases after you to reciprocate. You grin and laugh a little as he starts peppering your face in kisses. Eventually Bro pulls him off and lugs him to his room where he dumps in in the doorway and closes the door before turning to you with a nod of his head. You’re smiling brightly, and give him the thumbs up and he ducks into his own room. You settle down on the couch, your phone gone in your backpack, not getting any of the texts your Dad is sending.

When 4:03 finally rolls around a knock sounds at the door. You stiffen before relaxing yourself and answering the door. Your Dad looks at you, surprised it was you who answered the door.

“Are you ready to go son?”

“I’m not going anywhere, we’re gonna sit down here and talk, like you said you wanted to.” You shake your head and keep your voice calm.

“Didn’t you get my texts that said get ready to go home? I know I sent them to you.”

“I don’t have my phone it’s on my backpack, the point is I’m not going anywhere.”

“John.” You can tell he’s starting to lose his patients. “Let’s go.”

You move aside and sit on the table in front of the couch. “Come on in, Dad. Shut the door behind you on the way in please.” He narrows his eyes at you, you know you’re pushing his limits.

He takes a seat on the couch in front of you. “You look good.”

“I’ve healed nicely haven’t I?” Your voice is dead of any emotions and you see him tense.

“Yes.” His voice is as tense as his body. “Are you ready to come home?”

“Is Dave allowed to come over whenever he wants to  and stay the night whenever he wants to?”

“No.”

“It never bothered you before.”

“I didn’t realize how sinful he was before.”

You pause for a minute. “I’m not going with you Dad.”

“John.” His eyes are on the cold side, but not gone. He still sees you as his son.

“As long as you see my happiness with Dave as a sin I’ll never come back to you.” You tell him and you see it break him. Before it turns to unbridled rage you see the loneliness and sadness behind it as he stands up and grabs your arm forcefully cause you to yell out as he starts dragging you towards the door. Dave and Bro’s door are open in a second and Dave starts pulling you back as Bro pries your Dad’s hand off you. Your Dad looks to you, you're so torn. You want to go to your Dad and hug him and tell him you still love him, but you can’t. not while he’s like this.

“I think it’s time you left.” Bro is in front of you, shielding you.

“Not without my son.”

“I heard him make himself perfectly clear, he wants to stay here.” Dave speaks up and Bro gives him a look over his shoulder and you're suddenly being hauled off to the spare room while Bro holds back your Dad. Your Dad is shouting things at you, you think you’re crying, can you ever hear anything. The only thing that jolts you is when Dave leaves you and you’re finally able to curl into a ball and keep crying. After a few minutes have passed Dave and Bro show up to try to comfort you, but you tell them to get out. You want to be alone right now. You need to think, get yourself in order.

__-_-_------_____--__-____

You don’t come out until it’s late in the night. You’ve dried your eyes and look at the Striders, Bro who’s sitting nonchalantly, bit you now he’s worried. Dave looks like he would be tripping over his feet to get to you if he wasn’t restraining himself right now.

“I’m sorry, about earlier.” You say. “I just, I got confused and I needed some time to think.”

“It’s cool.” Bro shrugs. “You all good now?” You nod and a knock sounds at the door. You look at it with wide eyes as Dave gets up and opens it, handing the Chinese delivery guy some money before sitting over and motioning for you to come over. You take a few steps towards them after you calm yourself down again. Once you’re within range Dave grabs you and pulls you so you’re sitting squished between the two of them. It’s uncomfortable and seriously warm, and there’s so much more room on the futon, but you don’t say anything. It’s uncomfortable on the outside, but it makes you feel safer on the inside while you eat. Dave leans over and peck your cheek a few times before you turn your head and catch his lips in surprise. He pulls back and you both can't help the grins on your faces.

He leans in again, “I’m glad you’re okay.” He whispers in your ear and you kiss his cheek in thanks.

“Hey brats, there will be no sex in this house, so you better stop getting frisky.”

“You’re just jealous you can’t get your mack on with anyone dude.” Your face is heating up.

“Shut the fuck up, Dave.”

“You wish I would.”

“You fucking shit.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OkAY! So, I'm super duper sorry about not getting this uploaded sooner, I swear I am!! I'm currently in the process of getting my life together enough for me to start living it, and guess what-It fucking happened. I got myself a job (which I've been trying to do for months) and I start tomorrow. I have all of today off, so I sat my ass down and wrote a chapter for you wonderful peeps!  
> I'm pretty sure that uploads will be significantly slower from now on, so I apologize for that.  
> Also, happy news for everyone, I've made a tumblr! If anyone has questions about anything either pertaining to this fanfic or me in general or other fanfics I've written, feel free to go there and ask. it's http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


	13. Author Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is soooo exciting!!

Okay guys!  
Sorry for no update yet, but it looks like my life is finally going to start calming down!  
And no, I was not planning on uploading a new chapter just to tell you how my life was doing (it's better thank you) because who really wants to read about that.  
I am uploading this because GUESS WHAT! That's right, It's been ONE WHOLE YEAR since the first chapter!! It's this great!  
So For everyone who's ever commented or Kudoed me, I THANK YOU because those make my day, everyday! (i'm not kidding, on bad days I go back and reread them to make me happier) and I just, I really love you all so so much!  
Thank you, for sticking me for 1 whole year everybody!!


	14. John: Try to live

It’s been a week since your face to face conversation with your Dad, and you’re finally ready. You decided to stay late and work on an art project you fell behind with. You told Dave to go on ahead, and you’d be along once you finished it up. He hesitated for a minute before you kissed his cheek and sent him on his way. He doesn’t know how much you’ve actually been dying to call your Dad. To just talk to him. He  needs you, or at least you think he does. He looked so lost and abandoned when you’d told him you wouldn’t ever go back to him. You have to make this right. It doesn’t matter how much he’s hurt you, you could never hurt him back.

You’re finished up with your art project in an hour and standing in an empty room, holding your phone, and… well, just holding it. Your Dad’s number is glaring at you from the screen, but you can’t do anything but stare at it. In your mind all the memories are flooding back. You told him, he raped you, your life went on with daily beating because you’re dating Dave, Dave came over, you went to church, Dad almost raped you when you got home, Dave and you hanging out every night-- Twice. Your Dad has scarred you twice. He’s used your body in a twisted way to do what again? Punish you?? In the midst of your thoughts you didn’t realize you were crying. Not heavily sobbing or anything, just, crying silently. There’s an ache inside of you a desire to hate him. The want to hate your Dad. You take a deep breath instead, and wipe your eyes. The itch inside of you fades and your finger taps the “call” button. Another breath to calm down your shaky breath as you hold it up to your ear.

One ring…

Two rings…

Three ri-

“Hello? John?” You haven’t heard his voice in a week, and the tears come rushing back, but you stop them. You miss him so much. Another breath.

“Johnathon are you there?” There’s hope in his voice.

“Hey dad.” An exhale.

“Are you...are you okay?”

“D-dad, I…” Your voice is cracking. You’re hurting him, and it’s tearing you apart. All you can see is his hurt face. “I’m sorry.”

It’s quiet on his end. “Does that mean..you’ll come home?”

A small pause on your end. Is that a good idea? Should you go home?? “No.” You say that firmly enough. “I was just, calling to tell you that I love you. I know w-we’re not on the best terms, but, I love you, and I really miss you Dad.”

There’s a pause on his end. “I miss you too, son.” His voice is thick with unshed tears. “I miss you so much, I just want you to come home.”

You sniff and wipe your eyes. “Will you accept me as I am now? With Dave??”

You hear him breath in, and choke up. Is this it, is he finally going to accept this? “No.” His voice his strained and he chokes up again.

“I'm so sorry Dad.” You whisper it. “I can’t… I can’t go back until you do.” You hear him crying on the other end and hang up. It hurts. You hurt. Deep down in your heart, you feel something broken slowly start mending. It’ll take awhile, but you know you’re doing the right thing.

⇒ Be Dave

Who the fuck has time for introductions? Not you. That’s who.

Anyway, you’re already almost home, just climbing the stairs.  It’s been over a week since John told you he was raped. Bro doesn’t know, but he should. You know John should be the, but you know he’s never going to tell Bro. He just doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and you can’t even wrap your head around that. You only want to help, but whenever you so much as bring up the subject he get insanely defensive. You don’t get it. He’s hurting on the inside, and you can see something’s been up since his father ‘visited’ him.

You open the front door with a revelation in mind already. Your eyes scan the room, but no Bro in sight, not even in the kitchen. The next stop is his room/ You throw your backpack off to the side and stride to Bro’s room, knocking confidently on his door.

“Sup?” He calls and you open the door.

“Bro, I need to tell you something.”

“Oh, you finally want to get tested to see if you're clean?” He whirls around, smirk dropping into a frown as he sees your very serious face.

“It’s about John.” He sits up straighter, giving you his full undivided attention. You take in a breath.

****  
  


\--_--_-_----___--_--__-

It’s an hour after the sun has set and you're sitting on the couch with Bro watching some shitty funny movie. It’s actually funny, for you, but Bro is completely stoic. Tense even. Business must be rough. A commercial sounds and you turn the volume down a bit.

“So, John.” His voice is low, and strained.

“Yes Bro? Need another back massage?” You sit a ways away, really to move so he can lay down. Normally when he speaks like this is because he’s really stressed and needs to relax. Although the use of your first name is a little weird.

His jaw grinds a little. Strange. Bro usually knows what he wants to say. “Dave and I had a little…’chat.’” You raise your eyebrow and nod slowly. “So, when exactly were you planin’ on tell someone about your Dad’s...episodes of rage?”

You blink in confusion. “Well, I’m pretty sure that it’s all okay now. I mean, no more bruises, and stuff.”

“Stuff?” He raises his brow.

“Yeah, bruises and bruises.” You shrug. He sighs and rubs his forehead with the tips of his fingers.

“John. Dave told me.”

You blink, realization slowly setting in. “Told you...what?”

“Your Dad’s in jail now John, okay?” All the air rushes out of your lungs at his words. You're up and running to Dave’s room with Bro right behind you demanding answers. You ignore him and slam Dave’s door open, making him jump, then winced at the rage on his face.  “You asshole!” You yell, Bro shutting up. “How could you tell him?! I told you I’d do it myself!”

“John.” You whirl towards bro.

“How could you put my Dad in jail?! You had no right to do that!” He takes a step back and you rush past him and to your room, slamming the door behind you.

It feels like your world is crumbling around you.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup people!  
> I have done it!! I HAVE MADE ANOTHER CHAPTER!  
> You enjoy this chapter.


	15. Dave and Bro Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people voice a wanting of Dave and Bro's conversation and who am I to deny them?

 

“Bro, I need to tell you something.”

“Oh, you finally want to get tested to see if you're clean?” He whirls around, smirk dropping into a frown as he sees your very serious face.

“It’s about John.” He sits up straighter, giving you his full undivided attention. You take in a breath.

 

“You need to make a promise to me first.”

Bro arches an eyebrow just above his shades to signal that he’s getting annoyed you haven’t spilled it yet. “You now I don’t make promises Dave.”

“Well you need to.”

“Dave, what’s this about?” He’s getting annoyed at having to wait. “And where’s John? I didn’t hear him come in with you.”

“He stayed behind at school to work on an art project. He’s fine, relax.” He visibly relaxes. “Okay, know Bro, you really need to promise me on your porn star reputation and on Cal that you will not leave this house when I tell you this thing.” He’s out of his seat at that, but you hold up your hands, “Easy Bro, easy.”

His jaw grits. “Fine.” He spits it. “I’ll fucking promise, but you’d better not leave out anything or I will beat your ass, so hard.”

“You might want to sit down for this.”

“Dave.” He’s snapping and getting fidgety.

You take a deep breath. “John’s been slowly telling me over the course of the passed week and a half about what he’d been going through at his house.” Bro’s eyes are cold and focusing on you with such an intensity that your throat is going a bit dry. You wet your lips a bit. “Other than daily beatings his Dad would tell him to break up with me.”

“Is that all?” He’s growling the words out, barely restraining himself.

“No.” You say it a little too quickly. “Okay, so, remember the first time I brought John over here? Like, that day he came out to his Dad?”

“Where are you going with this Dave?” 

“John told me…” Your voice wavers a bit, and you see Bro’s eyes get colder somehow. He knows something’s up, and he really doesn’t like it. “He told me his Dad…” His jaw keeps grinding and his body is getting more and more tense every second. “His Dad...he r-raped him.” You curse that stutter, but your knees are shaking and the sweat on your skin won’t go away. You’re so nervous. You’re scared Bro won’t keep his word.

Nothing is said for a minute.

“Dave.” His voice isn’t shaking like yours was, it’s eerily steady and you almost flinch at it. “If this is some sick, twisted joke you better tell me  right  fucking now-”

“It’s not a fucking joke!” You snap back. His forehead vein is showing, and his arm muscles are bulging with the mental effort he’s putting in to not move from that spot.

“You’d better give me one goddamn good reason I shouldn’t go out and kill that lowly self-centered bastard.”

“John’s safe now. we still need you here not in prison, and you swore on Cal.”

“I’m gonna kill that man.”

“No you’re not. I can’t let you do that. Hell I can’t let you leave this room until you cool you head.”

“You’re not going to let me?” His voice sends a chill right through you.

“Bro. You promised.”

“He fucking  raped John.”

“I know.” You bow your head in knowing. “It makes me sick, but making John feel like it’s all going to be okay makes me feel better too.” This makes him stop and contemplate. He takes a deep breath.

“Hand me the phone.” 

“Bro why-”

“Just hand me the phone.” You now he’s still not trusting himself to move out of that chair. Frankly you don’t trust him to go out of his room either, so you fetch him the phone.

“What are you doing?” He snatches it out of your hand and dials only three buttons. You don’t try to stop him. You now he’s doing the right thing. You just hope John will understand.

“Hey, I’m here to report a rape.” “No, not to me, to my little brother’s boyfriend.” “His Dad.” “Yeah. His Dad raped him.” “James Egbert.” “Yes, I now he’s a church going fanatic.” “Yes, I’ve seen how he is, I know him.” “ Yes, I am fucking sure.”

Fucking hell this is one hell of a conversation. After a few more minutes Bro hangs up and gives you the phone. 

“What did they say?”

“They said they’d go over and double check my information.”

“Meaning…?” 

“Meaning they’re going to go ask that son of a bitch if he raped John, and if he says yes they’ll arrest him. Okay?”

You move back a step. “Got it. Here, why don’t you go take a shower or something and i’ll just go somewhere else in the house.” You’re gone by the time he answers.

 

\--__-_-____----__-__-_-___

 

It not even an hour later Bro comes out of his room. You’re on the couch, guarding the door. You see him and sit up.

“He’s in jail. He fessed right up.”

He’s gone to the bathroom to shower before you get the chance to ask him anything.

This is okay. Everything is going to be fine now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, yes, but still, it's here for you!


	16. John: Try to live pt2

It’s been two days since you left your room. Dave’s constantly fretting at the door, façade long broken. He’s begging you from the time of five til he passes out to come out and eat. Bro comes by multiple times a day when Dave’s at school.

The police keep calling you and coming over. 

You’re cutting again. You’re sides are fucked up ten ways to hell, but you don’t care anymore. You just don’t fucking care anymore.

You haven’t said a word in two days. You haven’t unblocked your door in two days. You still haven’t stopped crying in two days.

“John?” There’s Dave again. It’s a soft voice, desperation leaking into it. You now he’s hurting, but so are you. “John, the police are back. Please come out.” He’s voice sounds pretty broken up.

You don’t say anything. You don’t move. You can’t find the energy to.

“Please, at least let me now you’re still alive.” His voice cracks, and it’s just the slap in the face you needed. 

You made Dave cry .

You attempt getting up, but gravity is having other plans. It probably doesn’t help that you really haven’t move in the past two days. “John?” You hear a sniff then his footsteps retreating from the door only for two sets heavier one’s replace them. 

“Mr. Egbert, please come out. We need your side of the story.” They have no sympathy, it almost feels like a one sided conversation with a robot. You still manage to get your feet under you, but the world is fuzzy and you cant see straight. So you lean on the wall for you don’t know how long. Until the spots go away. Then you take down the barricade in front of your door. You unlock it and wince at the light. You’ve had the shades drawn for the past two days. Bro looks surprised to see you.

“Glad to see you, Jonathan. Know then, could you just-”

“I’m not here to talk to you.” Your words shock them into stepping back as you move past them. One grabs your shoulder but you jerk away from them, “Don’t touch me.” Then your gone in Dave’s room. He’s even more surprised to see you. You were right, he’s crying. Though even you have to admit it’s kind of cute that his nose turns really red-- this is not the time for that. Dave comes up to you, arms fidgeting at his sides.

You move his shades away and look at his eyes. He's got some pretty bad bags, and his eyes are basically bloodshot, holy hell. It’s just know hitting you how worried he must’ve been. How worried he must still be.

You hug him. He’s stiff for a few seconds, then he’s hugging you so tight you think you might suffocate. Not that you would mind dying in Dave’s arms. You feel him trembling and shaking uncontrollably. 

“I thought you hated me.” He whispers it in your ear, and you squeeze  him back, no matter how much it hurts when he squeezes you in return. 

“I could never hate you.” Your voice is a little scratchy after no water or speaking for two days. It doesn’t seem to matter since Dave buries his face in your shoulder. Distantly you hear a door close and Bro’s voice drifts in.

“I told them to go away for the day.” That’s all he says before he’s gone.

“I’m sorry.” You tell Dave. He doesn’t respond. 

You embrace for at least a good hour before he pulls away and wipes his eyes. “Dave, I’m sorry.” 

He slides his shades back on. “I know you are.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m just sorry I can’t help you.”

“No, no!!” You quick to wrap your arms around his waist. “I-I was just angry! You do help! I mean, you are helping me.” You swallow thickly in an attempt to wet your throat.

“Do you still want to be with me after what I did?”

You’ve been thinking about it for the past two days, but know that you actually see Dave and how everything else in the world kept moving you can say your answer with fully certainty. “I’ve been think about it for awhile.” You pause again to swallow, but your throat hasn’t been this moist in a while so it’s sticking to itself. “I was going to say no, I don't want be with someone who would lie and break a promise to me-” You see his heart shattering and more tears springing to his eyes, “But, I know...that you wouldn’t have done it unless you knew with full certainty it was for a good reason.” He wipes his eyes. “So, yes. I still want to be with you.” You kiss him lightly and you feel his body relax against yours. “I’m sorry, about everything. About being stubborn, about pushing you away, about turning my back on you when you needed me. I’m sorry.”

He cracks a smile. It’s that small smile that he only ever lets you see. “I need you now, and here you are. Right in my arms.”

“That’s where I’m planning on staying for the rest of the night after I get some water and maybe some soup.”

“Chicken or tomato?” He kisses your forehead. 

You hum, “How about some tomato?” He nods and lets go and so do you.

Bro is in his room, so you go there next while Dave goes to the kitchen. You stand in the doorway and tap lightly on his door. He stiffens and turns around.

“Hey Bro.” You voice is shaky again. He just nods slowly. “So, uh, I’m sorry.” You walk in. He sits up more. 

“You leaving or something?”

“No, I just, know you wanted to apologize for being such a piece of shit.”

He snickers with a smirk and you grin a bit. “When aren’t you a piece of shit?”

You think it over, “On those rare occasions I cook dinner?”

“You make you us do the dishes, you’re still a shit.” You laugh, a real laugh and he stands, still chuckling.

You don’t hesitate to hug him, and you feel him tense against you. He’s not really a hugger, but you know he’s still worried about you.

“I’m staying here, if that’s okay with you.”

He rubs the space between your shoulder blades. “Yeah. That sounds just about fuckin’ perfect to me.”

__---_-__------__--__--_--___----_

“No.” You sit there stubbornly on the futon while Dave and Bro face you from the table and keep trying.

“John-”

“No.”

“Just, listen-”

“I’m not pressing charges against my Dad!”

“John.” Bro’s voice cuts in cleanly. You huff. “Look John, I know you probably don’t understand this, but your dad committed a serious felony and he needs to be punished by the laws of the state.”

“He’s my Dad!”

“What if he wasn’t?” You open your mouth, but nothing comes out as your trains of thought come to a halt. What if it  wasn’t you Dad who had rapped you?? What if it was just a homeless person hopped up on adrenaline? “You’d want him to go to jail, right?” Bro’s voice makes you look up at him again.

You shoulders sag. “But this isn’t a stranger. It’s-”

“It’s your Dad, and I get that.” Dave leans back a little. “But even you can’t argue with the fact that if it wasn’t your Dad you’d have no problem sending him to jail.”

“Well no…”

“John, if you won’t do it for you, then what about your Dad?” Bro throws out.

“What?”

“You Dad goes to church at least once a week. Do you really think he’d be able to live with himself knowing what’s done. He’s fessed up, he;s going either way.”

You breath out a sigh. “I don’t want to press charges, especially if he’s already going to jail.”

“There’ll be a trial.” Bro states in that deadly serious voice. “And they will want you to testify against him. Can you?”

Another breath in. “Yeah.” 

“Are you sure?” Dave’s concerned voice drifts in.

You look over at him, “Yeah. I can do it.”

“But  will you?”

“Yes.”

They nod slowly.

There’s a knock at the door and Dave answers it. “John Egbert?” You raise your hand as two officers come in. “Are you ready to cooperate?” You just nod. “Good. Can we get your side of the story, please?” 

You take in a deep breath and start to relay everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm still trying to write everything out of where I want this go. I need to do a little research and such, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be uploaded, but rest assured THIS IS NOT BEING ABANDONDED.  
> If I choose to no longer continue ((WHICH I NEVER WILL BC I LOVE THIS FANFIC)) I will make a note.


	17. Everyone: Go to Trial

You're dying. Cracking from the unimaginable pressure. It feels like your heart could beat right out of your chest, but on the outside you appear calmer. Dave squeezes your hand though, and you're reminded that you suck at poker faces. Go figure. A small sigh escapes you and then Dave speaks.

"You sure about this?" You move your head in a small nod. "Use your words, John."

"For the last time Dave, I'm sure." You're not sure. It's your Dad's trial date, the day you get to learn how long he gets to go to jail. Dave makes a face, moves his lips into a tight line, and squeezes your hand again. Your shoulders sag a bit, “I-sorry. I just… I don’t-” Dave pulls you in close for a hug. You breath him in and encircle his waist in your arms.

“Just breath. We know this is hard for you to do.” You let his arms and words try to melt the stress away from your shoulders. 

“Dave, I don’t want to do this.” You whisper. Your Dad is a good man, maybe he wasn’t the best for the last, what, year? Year and a half? Before that he was the most loving man, he was the best Dad any kid could’ve wanted. He still  _ is _ that man and you know it. These other people can’t see that though. All they see when look at your Dad is a monster, but he’s not! Dave shushes you, and rubs your back.

“I know you don’t.” He mumbles in your hair and sighs before Bro comes out.

“Hey, the trial’s starting.” Your breathing gets funny for a second, but Dave refuses to let go, he just rubs your back until you let go and move back.

“Okay.” Your voice is shaky.

Bro claps your shoulder on the way in and you take a seat in the row second from the front. You take a deep breath and look up as the judge starts speaking, and you try so hard, but you can’t stop your eyes from wandering to him. His skin is paler than usual, he’s lost a bit of weight, and his hair is shaggy compared to how well styled it usually is, but that’s all you can see from the back. The judge reads off the charges, two counts of rape and charges of attempted rape. 

Your breath catches in your throat when you hear your Dad plead guilty almost instantly.

“John Egbert, do you want to say anything?” The judge’s attention is on you know, you almost bow your head , but your eyes meet a paler set. 

Distantly you can feel yourself breathing out your dad’s name silently. He smiles sadly at you and mouths an apology. You blink and the Judge tries to get you to speak again, but it's Dave shaking your shoulders that finally makes you pull your gaze away from your Dad long enough to say a quiet “No your honor.” You move to meet your Dad’s eyes again, but he’s already turned back.

“Samuel James Egbert, you plead guilty to all charges and you will receive 5 years state prison.”

Your breathing gets funny again and Dave places his arm around your waist, thumb rubbing your hip softly. You keep yourself together for the most part, always somehow touching Dave, holding hands or hip holding, just always touching in some way. When your Dad  is escorted out by the police you almost get up to follow him, but Dave’s hand in on your shoulder.

“John.”

Your head snaps towards the judge.

“I’m sentencing you to twenty-four weeks of therapy.”

You shake your head and she raises an eyebrow at you. “I’m okay.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Your honor, I’m really fine.”

“Alright, if you’re as fine as you say you are then I’m sentencing you to sixteen weeks of therapy.” 

You open your mouth to object, but Bro nudges you and shakes his head a bit. You sigh, “Alright, thank you your honor.” She nods and dismisses you, but you pause when you get into the aisle. “Um, your honor?”

“Yes?”

“When...uh, when can I see my Dad again?”

Everyone seems to freeze at your words, Dave and Bro more so. “You want to see him again?” You nod, “Why?”

“Well, he’s my Dad, and you’ve probably only heard the bad things about him, but, he really is a good Dad.”

“So a good Dad rapes his child for being gay?”

“No! He wasn’t the best father for the past year or so, but before that he was the best Dad in the world! We went to church every Sunday, we’d eat our meals together and talk about school. Sometimes we’d set aside days to just hang out or even go to the movies. He was always there for me when I got beat up at school, or fumbled down the stairs like the klutz I am. He was always there. Even in the past year. Yes, he hurt me, but, he still cared about me and my well being. He never starved me or anything. Sometimes we’d even go to the movies, and he’d still try to talk to me most days.” You can see you’re wavering the judge’s opinions of your Dad. You take a breath, “That’s why I want to know when I can see him again.”

She sits there for a few minutes, tapping her leg and lost in thought. “Alright.” You’re almost startled by how suddenly she speaks. “In 36 months you can see him again freely.”

Your voice is softer know. “Can I visit him in prison?” 

“Not for 36 months.”

You nod solemnly. “Thank you your honor.” She nods and waves you off.

You turn to see Dave and Bro eyeing you, and you reach out to take Dave’s hand. He doesn’t hesitate to lace his fingers with yours, “I knew you had it in you.” He whispers as you leave and it makes you smile.

36 months. Then you can see your Dad.

3 years, and you can talk to him again. That’s not very long, and maybe he’ll even be out by then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beauties, I'm so sorry for a short chapter, I'm also at a cross roads here. I could very well end this story here and now on this chapter, but I could also keep going.  
> But since I really can't make up my mind (the pros and cons are so perfectly balanced) I was thinking I'd leaving it up to you guys!  
> Let me know if you want me to keep going or if you think this ending here is a good enough!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I've got great news, I've set up a tumblr where I will also be posting fanfics like this and answering any questions you might have!  
> http://meowwritesalot.tumblr.com/


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